Very difficult for all concerned. I have no idea what my wife is thinking or feeling as she won't discuss it at all. She is 77 and I am 5 years younger. Married almost 50 years. Very advanced MS without capacity to move except one arm and hand (more or less) so we require caregivers 24/24, and as she likes to eat and is somewhat heavier than in our "other life". Very fixed ideas regarding timing of all "activities" in the house - mainly eating times, specific TV programs to watch and so on. Has a catheter permanently, so minimal problems is that area, except when coughing which she tries to avoid, which then causes other problems. Evacuation is once a day and rarely a problem. Very dependent on my presence and I have to negotiate with her. All medical consults are acceptable, any social activity is frowned upon. I am prisoner in my own home, but then so is she. It is particularly difficult to know how to deal with her as she is apparently present but at times the new persona arises and stubornness sets in. I tend to deal with her in a normal fashion, get angry, annoyed, happy and will talk about things in a normal way but she appears absent. Which is better? treat normally or as one would a child. Very difficult to adjust one's behaviour. Anyway, venting is good, as it sometimes can clarify in one's own mind which way to go. Psychologists help, Psychiatrists help with medication. Life goes on. Occasionally the death wish crosses one's mind. Not for me, as I am not "allowed" to die first, but for her as it could alleviate her suffering and the guilt she no doubt feels about causing me so much anguish. It is a fleeting thought, but one I feel most people would have at some stage or another in similar circumstances. Another day more will come out. Everyone is different as every MS is different, but I think the pain and anguish is much the same for all, some cope better, all learn to cope in one way or another, concluding whether you agree or not, that carer's no longer have a life and all that matters or all we have left is the person we care for - "for better or for worse"