I hear you Peter! I had no real continence issues as far as the bladder goes. MY problem is an inability to have a bowel movement like a normal person since my surgery 5 yrs ago.
The surgeon NEVER heard of such a thing, the GI doc said he did see it at times but there was nothing to be done about it.
After 5 years of trying to pin it down I found it on an IBS website. I do NOT have IBS, but “anismus” - an inability to defecate similar to constipation but mostly caused BY INJURY, TRAUMA OR SURGERY TO THE PELVIC FLOOR!
Can’t you see your surgery being traumatic? Couldn’t nerves be damaged? I would encourage you to do different internet searches for “pelvic floor damage after surgery” or “bladder incontinence caused by pelvic floor injury”.
It will be very frustrating because you will find yourself in an infinite loop of prostate surgery/ kegel nonsense websites.
You already KNOW all that! There are tests that can be done (for the rectum) for constipation issues; I am sure there are tests for the bladder to ascertain what nerve(s) are in dysfunction.
If your pelvic floor muscles seem paralyzed they probably are and hopefully something can be done about it.
Phil