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I don’t think either one of us feels we can truly be happy with each other. It’s more a situation of convenience where the cost of a divorce and living separately is prohibitive despite the fact that we have saved our money over the years. So, we are left with Acting like icebergs under the same roof because the cost of change seems overwhelming.
Replies to "I don’t think either one of us feels we can truly be happy with each other...."
I know feel you, l experience living in a home with the feel of icey cold. It makes one are both avoid going in the same room they even think the other is. It's no way to live,
no easy answers. I could live every every easily just this way, being loving and kind to my spouse. eating delicious food, listening to music we once loved going about my life, dont depend on spouse to make you happy, make yourself happy.But if there is harsh word spoken, pushing, disrespect publicly or in private,
Abuse of the money or property. Me I am out of there. In these cases someone could lose their life. I would also before it go down
I would be ahead of the game I would have my own money set aside, I would get advise from a lawyer concerning my options. However with the economy, inflation it cheaper to stick it out,
The love could come back, That's the wonderful thing about life anything is possible.
@londonex are you still together? I divorced last year after 25 years together. I started dealing with some health issues and he was so nonchalant and distant. We were living like roommates too and once he retired he was lost and eventually had an affair. In hindsight he was emotionally disconnected for so long. Funny thing is he checks in on me (loneliness? regret?) . Living alone after so many years is tough but it's better than being lonely with someone. Who knows maybe one day a nice guy will come along?
@londonex
Wow this describes my life to a tee!!
Strictly housemates who seem to hate everything about each other after 30 years of marriage and two wonderful grown kids.
I’ve hesitated, leaving for fear of alienating, my children, which would kill me. But if they’re grown ages, they know what’s going on, and I tend to think now that they would be accepting of the decision as long as it meant that mom and dad would be slightly happier. Such a tough situation that seems so intractable and unsolvable at times. The sad part is that while all of this introspection has gone on, time has marched on and I fear it is too late to make such a significant change. The ultimate choice is between walking to the end of the diving board and deciding to dive into an uncertain pool of water or sticking with a safe, but painful and isolating existence.
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@londonex if you can find this movie on a streaming channel, watch it. It describes a situation somewhat like yours.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fireproof_(film)