Yes, I know I am not alone. Sadly. I really need help in how to "help" him. It is heartbreaking to watch.
First, believe it or not he is 40 years old and lives alone & works in the mid-west, I am on the east coast. I see him about 4x per year. I am almost 70.
Right now here, visiting for Christmas and it's painfully obvious he is depressed. I asked him 1x for permission to speak with his psychiatrist and he said "no". I am fully aware of HIPPA laws. I will try again...he is an adult and clearly doesn't want "Mom" involved at all. Ironically I spent the last 25 years of my nursing career working in mental health. So, he actually is more educated than most on mental illness - from me. He will challenge his therapist, find fault with them and move to the next - and repeat. Right now no therapist. As you know, his psychiatrist just does medication management & nothing seems to be working. We both have heard of treatment resistant depression. He becomes very annoyed if I try to talk to him as to "what's going on?". He was never like this, always fully engaged in life, bright and attended the best schools, he has a MBA - he had 2 major triggers at age 37 1/2, transferred against his will to another job which he loved (his new boss was jealous he excelled so well...- & doesn't care for what he is doing now, same company) and the sudden loss of his best friend of 30 years. He is paralyzed with depression and grief. Saw a grief therapist and also keeps changing because of this or that. Doesn't stick with any therapist and clearly needs a good one. Lost all his friends except one and my guess that's not going to last either. He wants isolation. He works from home...he must as he has high expenses where he lives. And on weekends just sleeps them away. His pattern is typical depression, up for coffee then back to bed to sleep (& he does sleep, always complaining how "tired" he is... until 4 or so and them will take a shower and go out on errands). He is at his "best" - if you want to call it that in the evenings. He sees his medical doctors...some health issues but nothing contributing to his depression...yet. No surprise, he does not take care of his physical or spiritual health. Nothing makes him happy. Doesn't care about anyone or anything (of course he does for me & father, but sometimes barely, we are divorced, he was 21 when we divorced, he's an only child w/no cousins his age). He lost his entire group of friends who would have supported him, they loved him but this he choose). I am very physically & mentally sick over this. I am seeing a therapist myself and she is helping me to only some extent. Tells me he is on his "own journey" in life and he is an "adult" & only he can figure this all out. I get that. But when it's your child - no matter their ages, good mothers suffer. I have had a headache or migraine every day since he arrived. There is no laughter here and no meaningful conversation...
He will return home and be exactly the same. Nothing or no-one is turning him around to the person he "use to be". It will be 3 years in April he is like this. I know about NAMI, of course, my local chapter is a bit away from me. Hopefully I will get there in 2025. Any thoughts you may have, might be helpful. Thank you.