Getting over the fear of death?

@mikekennedy759 Thank you for your words. I will admit that I am really struggling right now with fear. I am afraid of coming to Mayo and getting a terminal diagnosis, afraid of being away from my family and my dog for days of testing, afraid of the 4 hour drive, basically afraid of everything. But I am also afraid of continuing to feel like total crap every day and not fully participating in my life or being fully present for my kids.

in reply to @babyblues262. Yes, going to the Episcopal church has helped me and here's why. In July I met with the now retired rector and told her that I did not believe much of what I had read or heard about the Bible, was not raised in a religious family etc., and she told me the following: she has two daughters, one is a trans who had surgery on the rector's birthday, the second daughter was a former sex worker / drug addict, recovered but still dressing like a sex worker. She told me that it did not matter what my belief system was, and that I should come and check it out, which I did. The Episcopal church does not "push" a lot of "new Christian dogma" if you know what I mean. Recently I ran into a woman while visiting my sister, and she had gone to the Episcopal church there and asked the rector the following: "Am I going to rot in hell if I do not believe "xyz," and he said, "all you have to do is love and that is all we expect of you." In fact, they have this daily meditation book that has a meditation for each day, and while the meditation does site certain biblical passages, the words are put into "modern use" if you know what I mean. Also, there is a great Bible that the rector recommended to me, The New Interpreters Bible Study, which I found on eBay for $10, and it reads like a history, science, biology and geography book, talks about gods and goddesses , the envirnoment and things of that nature. I also read the Gnostic readings, as those were discovered in the Egyptian desert thousands of years ago, The boo is called The Gnostic Tales, and you can find it on eBay or Amazon, It is beautiful and full of a lot of Jungian psychology, and has daily readings that are remarkable. I have met some very kind people who do not care what I believe, only always happy to see me. I am not pushing religion, but my friend who has been a member at the church recently told me: The Episcopal church is different in that we do not "push" anything, really. No extreme stuff, just peaceful people with a common interest: helping each other, supporting each other and "making friends," which I is why I decided to join in the first place. I may have mentioned that last fall they had a blessing for the animals and many people brought their pets to be blessed, and it was so "cute." I will try to post some photos of the church from my iPad. I went to the childrens service on Christmas Eve and some of the kids were in "costumes" etc. At the end of the service we were all give real candles, the lights went out and we sang Silent Night, and it was over the top beautiful and moving. A few months ago the rector gave a sermon and said, "we are not like those "others" and "we" care about each other no matter what we believe in. They have a great coffee hour following the service which gives each of us a sense of belonging. Listen, I am really surprised that I enjoy it as much as I do because I have had some very bad experiences with other church's..."new" ones if you know what I mean. In fact, I tried to go to a different church with a neighbor and the guy who greeted people ended up sending me photos of himself to me on my phone, and I called the church and called "foul." "What are you teaching your flock" I asked....."oh that is a rhetorical question." I said, " well, if you had said we are teaching about Jesus(who I do believe was a prophet) I would feel better about your church. I never went back and was all the happier as a result. I feel a sense of community, we operate a food bank that serves 3000 people each week, we offer free laundry for the homeless and poor so there are a lot of good things going on. Please let me know if you need any additional information. It got to the point where I had lost so many friends as a result of my diagnosis, and I wanted to meet new friends, better friends, and I have. For me, that is what it is all about. You can also watch the service on YouTube as they have a live stream if you want to check it out. St Micheals Episcopal church in Carmichael, CA. Actually there are other Episcopal churches you can also watch on YouTube to get an idea. Good luck. I was afraid at first, but now realize it was the best decison I have ever made. Please check it out and let me know if you want any more info

@babyblues262 Joyce Meyer has a good book called Do It Afraid, Embracing Courage in the Face of Fear. It's excellent. I suffer from the "fear of everything," and her books have helped me tremendously.