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Any suggestions for the wife on how to support my husband?
Hi everyone, sadly we are now part of this group. I am looking for suggestions to help and support my husband through an upcoming prostatectomy. What did your significant other do -or you wish she would have done- to support you?
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You're back! And it all went well.
That's the major part over. Nerve-sparing & good margins sounds great.
The hard part - make him sit down & stay down.
No lifting or trying to help you at all. He's the patient.
It may be up to 6 weeks of doing nothing. It'll drive him nuts.
But that's why Netflix was invented.
Keep us posted with any updates, questions or just to vent.
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7 ReactionsYes thankfully there’s football for him to watch!
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2 ReactionsThis is great news! I hope you both have a wonderful 2025.
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1 ReactionGreat to hear. Six weeks is a long time to sit down, waiting to recover from that surgery. Four days after my surgery, I was at clients offices working on computer issues. No lifting just sitting and typing. They took the catheter out the second week but I had been working full-time every day from the 7th day.
Don’t be surprised if he recovers quickly.
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2 ReactionsCatheter was just removed on the 31st so we brought in the new year without it-yay! He’s recovering nicely and definitely feels much better a week out of surgery.
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9 ReactionsWife here again 🫤
The pathology report isn’t great. I’ve been trying to process it & research for a bit now - trying to wrap our heads around it all. Next followup is Feb 24th for post RP PSA test & next steps. It’s so hard to just wait.
PT3a Extraprostatic Extension to bladder neck (microscopic) so positive margin
Tertiary pattern 5 (bad)
Lymph node positive
Aggressive/Metastatic
We are 3 weeks out from RP. Healing nicely but he gets exhausted very easily. He kind of turns a bit gray and I tuck him in bed for a rest. Is this normal? Dr said to monitor his activity closely so he doesn’t overdo it and report back in. I’m scared it’s jumped to distant lymph nodes or is progressing somewhere. Do they redo the PET scan to recheck that or just track the PSA?
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1 ReactionWe're all finding that waiting for the next step is one of the hardest parts.
There's another discussion here from a year ago, on tertiary pattern 5.
Might be something useful there.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/significance-of-tertiary-gleason-pattern-5/?pg=1#chv4-comment-stream-header2
One of the hardest things to do is resist the temptation to research everything.
We all want as much information as we can get, but remember that the experience & situation of others may not be the same as his.
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2 ReactionsThanks for the link!
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1 ReactionNo worries.
Pay particular attention to the great words of our moderator, Colleen:
"As for next steps, I make sure I never leave an appointment without my being clear on next steps - clear to me. Sometimes the next steps are clear to the doctor, but not necessarily to me.
So I repeat back what I understand next steps to be. That's gives the doc the opportunity to confirm I got it right or to correct my understanding, without being challenging."
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1 ReactionThey told you, the tertiary pattern was five. Does he still have a Gleason seven After examining his full prostate? If not, did they tell you what his Gleason score was now?
The fatigue after surgery is not normal. Did they put them on ADT? Is he on Zytiga, that could explain fatigue issue. I was working full-time six days after surgery, No fatigue at all.
When they say lymph node positive, They did remove it, right? If the PSA isn’t really low, then you do want a PSMA test again.