@frances007 I hope you feel better soon. I think you are right to leave this decision to your sister. I know it is hard and it sounds like she is going through a lot herself. I think she might see you and her kids as trying to tell what to do and it is probably overwhelming. Sometimes we have to let people make mistakes and be there for them when things go badly.

If there still a chance that your sister is open to advice, I think she should talk to her neighbors. They have no stake in her decision from a family perspective. If they are great neighbors, I think they will give her some sound advice. Even if it is a decision you may not agree with...I know it is hard, but she has to make the choice.

To be transparent, over the last twenty years I did not have the best relationship with my family. I have a brother that I do not know where he is. Both my mother and older brother passed away this past year. Things broke down. I moved away and became my own person. I don't regret being my own person. The consequences were sad, but I believe I can stand on my own two feet because of it. If others cannot respect that, then I do not need them in my life either. So in the context of my advice, be your own person.