Save yourself..save your mother. AlZ will take the whole ship down like a tidal wave. My husband is now at a Memory Care facility very close by. It has been two months now and what I have found is myself again. My blood pressure which was soaring is now manageable. I am enjoying life again; having my granddaughters for overnights, just enjoying the freedom from constantly waiting for the shoe to drop. Your dad will not get easier; he is on a slippery slope with occasionally bursts of lucidity. There is also an element of aggression that comes from frustration. I had a lot of guilt at first because of our separate circumstances; I have a home with a view, and he is in a facility with a room. That is heart wrenching given our lifetime of hard work preparing for a comfortable old age. Unfortunately, my husband drew the ALZ card, and he and our family have to play the card that is dealt to us in the best way we can. I reached out to others who have walked this walk. One woman told me that putting her husband in a facility was harder than when he finally died. I believe it. We can do hard things. You and your mom matter too.

Has the Home Health Care agency sent different staff members with different personalities to see if one clicks with your Dad? I doubt the others are harsh or disrespectful but maybe a different approach with him would work. I dealt with this with my Dad but one clicked with him and they'd chat about different things and he allowed her to shave him etc. She was sent by God! Mom was different as she loved anyone who helped her life be better.