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I feel like start running and not look back!
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Dec 24, 2024 | Replies (137)Comment receiving replies
mariana739,
Hi, my heart hurts for you. Is there any friends or family who can help him look at his projects and create a plan? Maybe he will be accountable to them? I know somedays he will be stubborn but perhaps at times it will help you.
I too experience many same issues. My husband asks for my opinion but rarely takes it. I told my friend its like being verbally badgered until he gets the answer he seeks. Very exhausting. Im learning to let go of an organized home, or home improvements.
I think the one characteristic that hurts the most is how he truly believes I'm at fault for an argument when im not. I do have too many days when im grumpy and that’s on me. But when he is irritable and his memory can’t see the situation correctly i feel so helpless. All i can do is get out of the house. He thinks I'm his personal assistant and at his beck-n-call every minute if the day, even when he’s being a jerk.
I tell myself he can’t remember conversations but it’s still very lonely and frustrating.
Replies to "mariana739, Hi, my heart hurts for you. Is there any friends or family who can help..."
I totally get it! Caregiving is one of the loneliest jobs you will ever be tired of being his victim when I don't deserve it!
It sounds like you have alot on your shoulders. My heart goes out to you. I experience the things that you describe. Sometimes it's feels like you are with a person who is very manipulative and sometimes so mean! If it was not for the fact that he was not always like this I am not sure what I would do! Sometimes I just need someone to understand! Hugs to you !
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rubyredkate, I could have written this posting in reply to mariana. It is amazing that the same characteristics appear in people with dementia, Alzeimers. My husband does the same things...I'm at fault for "taking away the things he used to do (finances, etc)" ...he spends a lot of time with a Rubik's cube which actually isn't so bad! It's been months and of course he can't solve it. And I'm definitely a personal assistant, finding his phone, glasses, coffee. And we know it's not their fault but so impossible not to get grumpy, for me anyway. Carrie