I find it very concerning when a doctor wants to tie issues to areas which cannot be proven (menopause, nutrition), when a change in medication or dose, will cause a reaction which can prove the association of thyroid and/or medication to the symptoms you are having. I had one doctor tell me to wait 6 months to “give the medication a chance” when I was on a high dose of Synthroid…. I asked her if she would wait 6 months dealing with constant leg cramps, headaches, nausea and extreme fatigue to see if a medication worked? My new Endocrinologist discontinued the medication and the symptoms went away within days!! I do not miss the leg cramps!!! Unfortunately, after a little while the symptoms of Hypthyroidism started, so I had to try a new medication, but that showed me that the symptoms are related to the medication and dosage and not just “aging.” The dosage of Levoxyl is about a quarter of the dosage the previous Endocrinologist had me taking of Synthroid (and she was talking about raising it!).
Since you had a total thyroidectomy you cannot just stop your medication, however asking to increase the dose to see if it helps with the side effects while lowering your TSH even more, might work. Maybe you can use the old “Let’s just try it and see approach,” with the doctor.
I am fortunate that I do not need referrals for doctors; I can just go. However if your doctor will not give you a referral, maybe you can tell her you want a second opinion….from what I understand, they have to grant second opinions. You might also try calling your insurance company and ask about seeing a cancer specialist…they might not require a referral since you want to prevent regrowth and that will save the insurance company money. Definitely keep trying!!
Good luck!