It sounds like you've had a rough time, and again, I'm sorry. My experiences have been too different from yours to offer much help, but I hope others in the forum might have notes to compare.

The one thing we have in common is spinal metastasis. They had to put rods and cement in my spine from T1–T5 after they gouged out (and later radiated) the lesion there; otherwise, my middle spine would be "mush" as well. I have some mild chronic pain from all that hardware and damage, but eventually learned to cope without pain meds.