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People who ignore parents and grand parents

Just Want to Talk | Last Active: 7 hours ago | Replies (4)

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@naturegirl5

@evron I’m going to provide the advice I often see in advice columns. No, do not cease sending gifts and cards to your son, his wife, and grandchildren. While it’s understandable that you feel slighted these folks are your family. They are not meeting your expectations of contact and I wonder why that is? My father got angry with his sisters off and on and well into their 80’s and 90’s. He would stop speaking with his sisters and to what end? Family estrangement like this, the longer it continues, is very difficult to manage. We as parents and grandparents can model the behavior we would like to see in our children and grandchildren and keep the communication open.

I live far away from my family too and I used to get annoyed when my niece did not send a note or acknowledgement when I sent her gifts for her birthday or the holidays. I also considered not sending gifts anymore but then realized this. My niece will always remember that I thought of her and that I did not cut off contact. These days she sends me a text and while I don’t consider that a “real” thank you note like her mother used to send (and taught her to send) I do receive an acknowledgement. Texts are the way to communicate in her generation (she is 35 years old).

Have you sent texts to your son and/or his wife? If yes, do you get responses? How old are the grandchildren?

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Replies to "@evron I’m going to provide the advice I often see in advice columns. No, do not..."

Thank you so much! I have sent them letters, texts. My son got involved with a girl and after they were going to have a child she told us that she did not have faith but she would let us raise the child in our faith. She came from a poor, broken family and had a lot of trauma as a child. My husband died when the little boy was not even two years old and the dynamics changed where I was the outcast. I am a Christian, a Catholic, a Canine for Christ Therapy dog owner and chaplain, a leader in ministry and without my faith I would have been dead already as I came from a painful childhood myself, but I had Jesus all my life and said the Lord's Prayer every day. She told me that she was never baptized. It appears none of her family is baptized or saved. I did not know that until when after the first Mother's Day after my husband was dead, & I gave them all custom bibles, her and her MOM smashed them in anger on the dinner table in anger right in front of me. That was a statement. Just about all that my husband & I worked for has fallen into the wrong hands since he died. I was crushed, My heart sunk. She told me that she would not help me have a realationship with my family if I spoke about Jesus but she never helped me anyway. She told me she does not need Jesus. She is self-serving and mean. She rages and has bad spirits. They smoke pot. Drink. Teach their kids the same life style There is nothing holy in their home except they let the kids go to CCD.. She does not work or clean or cook regularly. The get alot of take out. My son is overworked and then goes fishing and hunting with his son. She takes care of herself. I saw that she had brought what I thought was a yoga statue into our home but it was a statue of a hindu god of perversion, Shivra. They got married and my son changed. He said he had to protect his son, keep his son under his roof so he was forced into this evil relationship even though I told him if he went to God, took his wife with him for Christian counseling and took them to church, God would help, he did none of that. The second child he did not know if it was his but it was thank God. The phone number I have for him, she controls. They don't reply to my texts. or emails. She rules with rage. He works to sustain their life style and off of the money he asked me for. He looks very sad all the time. He told me that I am not important some years ago. I am 68 now & but on my 60th birthday they ignored me. I remarried and moved out of state to a warmer more economical state climate & they gave us their blessing to move but then later my son was angry that I moved. They have never visited us. It's been 7 years. I moved because I could not bare to see how she lashed out at my grandkids in front of me. I figured with me not around there would be less pain that involved me. My son asked me for alot of money so I have given him his inhertiance before I am dead and even though I cut myself short, he does not care. I don't get school pictures. I can't be friends with my own daughter-in-law on facebook because she is so vial. I am a Christian woman of God. I pray every day for them and in mass before I go up for communion I put them in the cup of the blood of Jesus for salvation. I was propechied over that for what I am doing for God now my family will be blessed for future generations. I am an intercessory prayer person and evangelist. I prayed into the courts of heaven with Greg Kurjata and God told me to be patient. You are right! I keep giving gifts for my grandsons...that they hope and faith that we love them (I am married again). I bought my eldest grandson two kayaks and when I visited this summer I saw they were in the basement still not used or unwrapped. She is very cruel. 🙁 My heart cries out to the Lord and I put them in His hands. That's the story.