Thanks for adding to the conversation

Thanks for your response. First, yes, the "concierge" word brings up privilege to me like "concierge doctor" - that's where my mind goes. Private dr that comes to your home and you pay pay pay. And probably the split between the have and have nots is so huge right now, no more middle class really. As hourly wage goes up, which is needed, that SSA check is worth less and less. The COLA doesn't even pay the increased cost of insurance never mind the cost of groceries everyone complains about. It was a presidential issue.

And I'm privileged to pay for better insurance. I would take food off the table to pay for my medigap plan. And very grateful its even an option. A friend, people on SSI (not SSDI) is living on $860 a month? Not allowed to get any kind of gift "legally" without deducting it from her income. If I buy her dinner, she is supposed to report it and it gets deducted next month.

BUT, on Medicaid, she has amazing home health care. 36 hours a week and well, ill keep my opinions of how much of it is needed. At 55 you dont need someone in your house to remind you to take meds because you have ADD. She's a good friend and I dont deny her all she does to get what she does, but medicare doesn't pay for nearly what she gets.

If I had medicaid, I could get them to pay for someone to drive me to Mayo in Feb. I know this because she did.

And I think we are made to feel like everyone is just a millionaire these days. That word was used very little but now it seems everyone in Congress etc is at least a millionaire. They say $150,000 a year is what the average family needs to live comfortably. Its hard to be closer to the have nots and hear people donating a billion to pay for an election party but that same person is talking about doing away with medicare, medicaid, retirement SSA. Or saying "its going to hurt people" (the disabled and seniors) but we will reduce checks by 25%. Its depressing. And angering.

Good for Minnesota for treating seniors with respect. What exists here is PACE. Its aldo what my mother was on to lower her assisted living rent to $3,000 9 years ago. Still a lot of money!

Friends here went looking for assisted living and it was 9,000/month! We have PACE here but they cover your medical care like an HMO but it reduced it to like 5,000 a month.

I really have trouble believing that average retired people can pay $5,000 a month? Am I way out of the loop on money in the world? Are many people retiring with a million in thd bank lije they say you kind of need now? Not in my world tho I fo hsve friends with trust funds. Just not a thing I even knew what it was.

I've also found out this year that it costs a fortune to "become visibly disabled." People might be surprised to find out medicare doesn't psy for scooters that leave the house. Or folding or lightweight wheelchair that a single older person still can't get into the car. So, $3300 plus to have a hoist installed. Folding electric wheelchair $2000. Scooter I thought would work $2000 but where I live its so hilly the scooter can't even manage my driveway, so a wheelchair. And a new mattress and automatic bed that my PT said I needed as my mattress was responsible for some of my pain. Anyway, you get the picture. $9000 on credit cards at 28% for mobility equipment. I'm suddenly drowning in debt I can never pay off never mind that medicaid in a nursing home leaves you I think $40/month for personal items?

Everyone talks about a generation of people who will never own a home. A friend in her 30s with 2 Masters knows she will never own a home with school loans that reduce the amount a bank will even let you borrow.

I kniw its complicated but its about aging in place. You can't do it if you can't pay out of pocket for a home health aid. Where do you get help with groceries? I kniw things aren't going to better physically for me or any of us. I'm 69 and struggle to get groceries into the house and put away. And that's it for the day. Dishes pile up. I'm not unique in any of this and certainly not special that I "deserve" more but realistically, when I can't carry in groceries anymore, or drive or yeah, change my sheets more than once ever few months (I kniw disgusting but reality for many seniors living on tuna. I'm not and very grateful.

I was really just saying aging in place is not reality if you don't have the money for all this private pay stuff. You age not even knowing what Medicare will pay for and not. Suddenly at 65, I had a $560 medication deductable I didnt have when disabled. All out of pocket in Jan. No gifts for anyone at xmas if you want meds for the first 2 or 3 months of the year. And again, I'm very privileged to be able to not have to be on an Advantage plan and pay so many copays, get denied coverage, etc.

Yes, its complicated. But even at 2200/month to live with other women is not doable if you have to pay your share of electric etc.

Me and frirnds have often thought if 6 or 8 of us pooled our money we could rent a huge house and take care of each other or maybe afford a housekeeper. I do know that "ladies homes" used to exist. There was one in my small town in MA where I grew up. A friends aunt ran it in her actual home. An older polish woman who took care of older women till the day she died. Not easy to find things like that.

But I bought a condo 7 years ago because it was first floor and there was already a cutout in the sidewalk. 2 bedrooms 2 baths so I could have a college student live hers for free and help with some things. I didnt expect that to be now! And I don't want someone living here right now as long as I can. I've lived alone my whole life. I'm up sometimes all night watching TV like right now.

Anyway, how can I hear that everyone is struggling but come here and of course everyone can pay for assisted living? I feel like I'm being told I'm wrong or the exception to the rule. And yes even having kids doesn't mean they will be near or we know they are the sandwich generation. Older parents and younger kids. And working full time as everyone I know needs two incomes. My reality is just different than others here I guess? That doesnt feel true tho.

Agjng in place is not so much of a reality if you aren't 100% independent. Or can afford home care. I was more about what insurance will cover and what it won't which we find out as soon as we are in need.

And sime states are better than others of course. NC not do much caring about disabled or alone seniors. Many homeless seniors all around the country. There but for the grace of god...
Thanks for your ear. Always open to suggestions but our realities are different clearly. There has to be people here who understand what I'm saying? Aging in place, for too many, is a misnomer. And I'm one of tbe lucky ones. Truly.

Oh. I was just re-reading. We have "lots" (?) of low income housing. Not lots as the waiting list I think is years.
But also, rereading what you said about HUD. I'm in that gray zone. I have too much SSA to qualify for any assistance, food etc. But that also makes me way way better of then people making < 1000 month which is who really needs those places based on income.
The thing for me is I bought a condo 7 years ago that it was kind of in bad shape and was in pre-foreclosure so I was able to get it, and a local organization that helps first time homeowners buy a place by giving the deposit at 0% interest that is a lien on my condo but doesn't need to be repaid till the end of my mortgage. My seven year old 30 year mortgage ends when I'm 93. I'm not concerned. My "estate" lol can handle that or the gov takes it all to put me on Medicaid for a nursing home.

My mortgage is only $700 which is just amazing. As long as they dont cut down SSA, I'm ok. First floor. Ramp. All that stuff is good for being able to stay here I just don't qualify for anything. Make too much to get help but not enough to pay for it myself. Hundreds of thousands of us in this between place.

So I'm more fortunate than many! But that doesn't make or those in that gap with me, lucky right?

I'm also particularly depressed right now living in the middle of a war zone still since I'm in Asheville and it's going to be like this for a long, long, time. Doors on falling down houses marked with a big X which means people died there. Up and down streets all the furnishing piled up in the front yard. Just 1/2 mile from me and I'm not close to the really bad spots.

We just get to hear the personal stories that aren't on the news. A family from church and their house just floated away. I don't even know if they found the kid's bodies. That's where I'm living. So that feeds my depression. Everyone living in the air of trauma. It took me days to realize how close I came to serious damage from tornadoes. Trees the width of trucks uprooted and still just laying there.

The world moves on. It affect all of our mental health. And Christmas with kids who have zero belongings. People all pitching in to try to normalize something for these kids also who have lost friends. 10 and lost their best friend. So yeah, feeds how hard it all feels. So, Im sorry.

Its going to be about a year before Mayo can replace my hip I injured when I fell last March. Its been a wake uo call to be in so much pain AND yes, get my groceries, almost falling in the bath a few times a week.

A wake up call to this topic. I just need a hip replacement but will waiting put me in a home?

Are we all are one fall from a nursing home? Kind of yes but its been that way for seniors for decades or more. I've just never been here before with it being me?

Too close to the bone I guess. Ill stop.