@djspiker Welcome to Connect. I understand where you are coming from as I have shared the same fears. I want to tell you that if you work for it, you can overcome those fears that are holding you back. I used to be terrified of the dentist, and as a child, I broke my front teeth which started a pattern of dental work that over the years failed and had to be redone, and with some dentists lacking empathy, I was so fearful that I would pass out. That fear is what I had to work on before I could go through spine surgery. I knew that if I didn't have spine surgery, I would loose my ability to work as an artist. It was already happening as my arms became weak and lost coordination. How could I give up what I loved doing the most (my artwork) and let a spine condition cause increasing disability? I saw my parents in wheelchairs and was a caregiver to them, and I knew I did not want a future like that. I was lucky because I had a choice. The choice was not difficult because I did that for love to save my ability to record the beauty in the world that I see. It was just overcoming the fear of the unknown and pain, and I devised a lot of ways to work on that.

I also lost my dad to end stage heart disease, and it was right after his passing that I got a call from Mayo with an appointment for a consultation. Even though I was afraid, I had to advocate for myself because I had a situation that surgeons misunderstood and didn't want to touch. I had spinal cord compression in my neck that caused pain all over my body. That is what scared them because they thought that fixing the compression wouldn't solve all the pain. I knew they were wrong because they didn't listen to the clues I was giving them in how I could reproduce or change where the pain went. 5 surgeons turned me down, and with each of them, I had to face the real possibility of surgery when I met them, and afterward when they were not interested, I asked myself, well why was I afraid of that? I had to remember it was my choice, and no one was forcing me to do anything. The surgeons are scared too because they don't want a failed surgery or bad outcome that could ruin their reputation. It was after I found medical literature with cases similar to mine, that I approached a surgeon at Mayo. He helped me with his expertise, and above all that, he was kind and empathetic which I hadn't experienced before with any of the other surgeons who examined me.

I know that fear has many levels to it. Lets start with some small steps. If you will look at this discussion and watch the video at the beginning, you'll learn about how I designed my own therapy to get myself through the fear of the surgery that I needed. I can honestly tell you, it was one of the best things I have ever done. I never expected to get past my fear of medical trauma, but I did and it changed me for the better. Fear doesn't prevent me from seeking help or advocating for myself and others. That's why I'm here as a mentor because these journeys are very difficult to navigate.

I'm glad to meet you, @djspiker and you are not alone. The video is a podcast where I was interviewed in a show called "Your Positive Imprint".

"How Can I Defeat my Anxiety about Medical Tests and Surgery?"
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-can-i-defeat-my-anxiety-about-medical-tests-and-surgery/