The main source of my PTSD was the 5 weeks I spent intubated with ketamine causes vivid dreams with death being the overall theme. Upon coming out of the induced coma I awoke unable to move due to muscle weakness, this was during COVID and I was not allowed any visitors. The oxygen supply from the hospital wall was not sufficient, even when turned up to maximum. This meant any time I exerted myself I could not breath as my lung capacity was 20% and I would have a panic attack. I was placed on high flow eventually. Minor infections caused my saturation to drop to 61% until eventually I was faced with that talk the doctor initiates about getting your affairs in order. I am married with five kids, three from a previous marriage where my first wife died of cancer.
I initiated the medicinal cannabis idea, the lung clinic was dead against it but eventually approved it. The cannabis competes for an enzyme in the liver to break it down that is also used by Tacrolimus. This can lead to high levels of Tacrolimus which is not good. I counter this by leaving a 5 hour gap between the taking of each. This seems to have worked in keeping down the Tacrolimus level to within range. The cannabis has helped more than any of the anti-depressants and I can stop without any weaning process.
I know I should be elated and thankful for getting a second chance but the cocktail of medication and the constant rotation of the public hospital system effects the continuance of care with a different doctor each appointment. I raised my concern as to the average life span of a lung transplant patient which is 50% of recipients die within 5 years and was told "Well it is a palliative procedure". Losing my first wife, being a prison officer and experiencing a riot and then coming close to dying are most probably contributing factors in my PTSD and Panic Disorder.