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← Return to Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?
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Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?
Cancer: Managing Symptoms | Last Active: 6 days ago | Replies (285)Comment receiving replies
Hello! , I started my hormonal therapy 6 months ago. I thought I was doing ok however during the last weeks I've been crying more than usual . I'm going to mental theraphy once per month and I think I'm discovering some feelings from the past that I think I just ignored during long time. Those are related to my father's illnes , he had Alzheimer during 10 years and died 5 years ago. During all these years I never shared with anyone how sad I was after my father's diagnosis. He was always my super hero , a strong and smart guy that I loved with all my heart and I stop checking on him I guess because I was scared of seeing how deteriorated he was ... I blame myself for this , and for not asking him how we was dealing with all this. My therapist said that I need to stop asking why I developed cancer but now I can't stop thinking that all these feelings that I suppressed during all this time were somehow doing damage in my body and now they are coming to the surface , and that's why I've been crying latetly ... or is just a secondary effect of hormonal therapy? . I struggle sharing my feelings with others and definitely I appreciate this space to share... thanks for reading.
Replies to "Hello! , I started my hormonal therapy 6 months ago. I thought I was doing ok..."
Angie,
Thank you for having the courage to share your feelings. I'm not a doctor and I think your sadness could be coming from both the hormones and the past thoughts. It's good you are dealing with some of these past thoughts so you can walk through them and get past them. There are no right or wrong feelings. It is important to pay attention to your feelings and just let them sink in and really feel them. Journaling can sometimes help. It's going to be okay. Your feelings when your dad had Alzheimer's and you didn't want to go visit him, because you were afraid to see him that way - that is a normal feeling and you aren't the only one has done that. You can forgive yourself-you are human and humans are not perfect. It sounds like you might be blaming yourself , that you did something to get your cancer - I think that's a normal feeling too. No one knows exactly why any one person has gotten cancer. Don't blame yourself for your cancer. Try to focus on the good memories you have of your dad. He would want you to be happy. Be kind to yourself. Try to talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. I care about you. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves.
I’m glad you are seeing a therapist you can talk to. I hope it’s helpful. Cancer is very difficult.
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You cry because you’re sad and there is nothing wrong with that. I find the sadness a very powerful manifestation of love and the true lesson that people do not have control over everything in life. It’s probably just as okay to suppress feelings as it is to move on with life. You don’t have to share your feelings with others but it sometimes helps. I hope for the very best for you!