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Please. Help. I have learned fear in a way I never thought I would. From my husband. Always talking about current events etc. Catastrophic thinking etc. I have a good peer support person who recommended letting him talk for limited time etc. This did not work. I need quiet time time for meditation deep breathing etc. I survived bacterial meningitis of my brain. He does not seem to get this is all to much for me. I cry scream from the pain of our discussions about all this. We probably need to go our separate ways but it would be bad for us financially etc. Do I say no more to him? I think I do say no more to these discussions with him. Thank you
Replies to "Please. Help. I have learned fear in a way I never thought I would. From my..."
I don't of course know specific details of your situation, but I would appeal to his sense of empathy.
After my stroke, I would get very emotional at the drop of a hat. I would laugh, cry, or get angry over nothing. I once snapped at my wife while she was driving; she took it very personally, and I nearly shouted at her, "Don't you understand? I cannot control this!" Luckily, I recovered past that phase before she ran out of patience with me.
Could your husband learn to limit his venting in your direction? What is his point in unloading on you? Does he think you can fix the world's problems?
It also seems to me that he'd be better off if he'd quit watching the news and read some classic literature, or sci-fi, or literally almost anything else. The media's job isn't to inform, it is to keep you watching, and their main tool is fear.
I learned this myself the hard way, years ago. My wife finally told me, "Enough. You're obsessing over things you can't influence. Stop it. You're making yourself crazy -- and taking me along for the ride. Just...stop it. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me."
She's a very sensible woman, so I paid attention.
Does that help at all?
. I had a potentially fatal disease that could only be cured by a bone marrow transplant (which itself has a not insignificant mortality rate) and because of my faith I was able to persevere. Perhaps such a faith could help you. Also, a good couples therapist/counselor may be able to help you and your husband with your issues.
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What happened to me is similar to you. Bacterial meningitis of my brain may 2014. Craniotomy to remove access left temporal lobe. Septic multi organ failure medically induced coma. I was coded. I had to learn again how to talk walk etc. Learn and re learn medical knowledge. I was an RN. Now retired. I drive. I walk about 3000 steps daily. I have been seizure free the whole time. I just subscribed to your you tube channel. Thank you. On 12/26/24 I will attend virtually my first meeting with BIAA. Brain Injury association of America. I cannot change or control anyone but me. I have ptsd from my illness so I have had a lot of trauma therapy