I have been seeing pain management for years which started in my face 18 years ago. After trying 10 medication’s over 4 yrs and dropping down to 82 pounds, they finally put me on Percocet. It worked wonders. Up until six years ago, I was very active, and did yoga walked many miles a day even played golf, volunteered at my animal shelter for many years. The only thing in the world I love and care most about are animals and I’ve had my fair share of losing dogs and cats, but they have always brought me comfort as well.
When I was 63, my husband 57 , married 25 years, lost his job. He became a full-time prescription drug addict and remains that way. We lost our home., lost everything and I have spent the better part of 17 years, giving him CPR and calling 911. He also steals my medication, no matter where I hide it he finds it & always denies stealing! I’ve been trapped in this horrible relationship. As far as my body, I don’t have all the medical terminology that you have but yes, my spine is compressed, I don’t remember the levels of the cervical surgery because it all happened so fast, but I know there’s about five levels, I don’t have numbness. I have acute burning. in my legs and feet. Since Covid, I also have acute freezing in my legs. I have developed stenosis, scoliosis, disc compression, and my nervous system is completely shot. I shake and even Xanax can’t help anymore. I have no pain in my neck, but I saw the x-rays and they are all black with no white space. I also now have Osteo, extremely low bone density so the neurosurgeon would not touch my back. which is OK with me. I’ve seen too many people in wheelchairs after back surgery. Living in LA is a nightmare for a senior, trying to get an appointment is months in the waiting.
Since Covid, my pain receptors are blocked and I am not able to get any medication’s to work. Especially for pain. My circulation is gone.
Pain mgmt now has me on buprenorphine, which is ghastly and seems to be making my symptoms worse. Every day the pain is worse, my legs are worse, and my feet are burning as if in hot coals. I don’t feel I am seeing the right doctors, but I know I have neurological damage. I think my vagus nerve was greatly affected, but I can only evaluate myself since the doctors know nothing about long haul. I only can base it on how I feel. I never stop crying and I’m scared to death that I will not be able to adopt a senior dog, and I cannot live without an animal. I also have something wrong with my large toe, left foot. I went to at least seven different doctors and finally ended up at a wound Doctor who told me I have a neurological problem which cannot be resolved as it requires cutting bone and I would not recover so every day I treat it and change bandages and just as the pain was subsiding it is now all the way back up again. You are blessed you have a son and a reason to fight and that is your support along with your dogs. I never thought I would want to kill myself, especially as I want to do so much to help Animals. But my husband is not a comfort nor does he care about animals. He does not know how to show compassion or empathy. And I have lost the few people that I loved and there is nobody left. My crying is never ending and there isn’t even anyone to give me a hug. Finding THERAPY has proven impossible. Someone to talk to. My medication’s prior to Covid were working, and I could get hours of relief for my neuropathy and the pain in my face. They just suddenly stopped working. This new medication is a nightmare and I think it causes my symptoms to be worse and the side effects or devastating. Trying to get another appointment with the neurosurgeon is a six month wait & my surgery is scheduled for latter February which I have to cancel The doctor doesn’t seem to care that my body is at war or that I have all these post Covid symptoms. She makes it sound as though the surgery is my only obstacle and that I have to do it.
My environment is toxic. My husband is toxic, and he has bled me dry. Because of my compassion and my heart, I stuck around all these years to save his life, which he is completely ungrateful for and claims he has no memory of any of it and has never once even said thank you For being there!
In March, I will be 82 and have more pain, and so many post Covid, and a broken heart. And no dogs.
I never sleep, which would give me a break in the pain, but my legs keep me up as does my raging mouth and burning feet!
You are young at 55, blessed to have a child and dogs. My guess is you do not have Osteo. I don’t know if your body is at war, I don’t know what you did to survive the cervical surgery or how you manage to get help or support. But I am almost 30 years older and chances are I will end up in a wheelchair.I or worse. I went from a physically healthy, active, productive person in spite of losing everything & forced to take care of drug addiction partner to a crippled in pain woman. My nervous system is shattered!
I want a divorce & made a terrible mistake staying to keep him alive. I would not survive a divorce-not sure I’d live long enuff. It takes 12-15 mos in California & I wouldn’t get a penny til final signatures. I keep thinking if I could get away from him maybe I could heal or find peace. But my pain will grow worse getting there, if I got there.
I have no place to run. I’m in extreme pain physically, emotionally. I want to die.
But then he will have enough $$ to hire help & live on & be the winner.
I don’t know where u are but how lucky you have medical professionals that understand your condition, didn’t have added complications w/covid & had success w/surgery.
Did the cervical surgery take your symptoms away? How long was your recovery? And you probably didn’t have my numerous symptoms?
Where are you?
What should I do?