@heavens12 Welcome to Connect, Catherine. After spine surgery, life will be different. It is a compromise you make to stop a problem from getting worse, and if you have had an extensive multilevel fusion where the discs are removed, a fusion locks those vertebrae together forever as bone grows into those spaces. I'm guessing this may be what you had because or so many levels that were operated on. Your surgeon should have explained how your ability to move would change after surgery. I know perhaps this isn't what you wanted to hear. Also consider what your life would be like if you had no surgery. Perhaps that may have lead to a lot of disability as nerves were increasingly compressed over time. It is a loss, and sadness and grief in adapting to that is normal. I have had those feelings too and had some personal losses to asthma, a serious ankle fracture and a cervical fusion. I have learned to adapt and to do some things I've learned in physical therapy to improve my functioning. I do have long term concerns about my ankle and mobility as arthritis from the injury progresses. I do the best I can, and I wanted you to known you're not alone.