My sweet hubby has many accidents every week. He is only 69, in great physical condition, but his mind is aging faster than his body. The incontinence is daily. Because he is so mobile, he has to be followed everywhere in the house. Sometimes I am just too tired and will sit for an extra few minutes arguing with myself about getting up to check on him. Invariably, when I don't, the consequences have been unforgettable....as he forgets where the bathroom is, thinks he is sitting on a toilet when he is beside it, in the corner of the hall, in my closet, in front of the dresser, etc. Or he poops and realizes that he jas done something bad and takes off running through many rooms - tracking it EVERYWHERE. That has at times created a three hour mess (or longer) to clean, sanitize and wash to include trying to persuade him to get a bath. I have cried, screamed, been unkind to him....all to amount to a huge regret because he was always the cleanest person, and he can't help what he doesn't remember.
I have bought large packages of body wipes and they are in every room, along with depends. I purchased a carpet shampooer and have cleaning/sanitizing supplies within reach. The best thing I purchased was several small garbage cans and many boxes of sturdy trash can liners. They are all over the place. He will urinate in them at times and at other times I grab it and hold it in front of him or under him (depending on the position he has assumed...it is okay to have a chuckle here) as it is often impossible to get him to go to the bathroom. I have pushed him onto the toilet and even stood with him. There are gloves everywhere, and he will usually let me wipe him. The worst part is when he wipes himself and thinks he has tissue in his hands when he doesn't. So I keep his nails trimmed very close and hand sanitizer and hand sanitizer wipes everywhere. If he won't let me wipe him, then he does smell and I wait until the moment arises and he will get a bath or let me wipe him. I have thrown away clothes and shoes. Those are replaceable. I bought several sets of very affordable white towels from Sam's Club. They can be bleached and also thrown away. Everything with urine or poop is washed separately and i use lots of laundry sanitizer and laundry machine cleaner. I can replace carpet one day, throw away other things, but I can't erase the memories of being impatient...so I work hard to love, to hold, to reassure, and to ask God for strength to get through the many challenging moments in this journey. Please forgive any errors....writing this quickly because he is moving and I need to follow......hugs to all of you. This journey is a bit easier because of this group.