Hi joiedevivre,
How are you and your husband doing?
My husband is out of the hospital now and on the slow mend. By the way, I thrive as being a multitasker so I often do have a lot on my plate. The change in energy level since I got cancer has been difficult to accept as my new normal since I was quite the multitasker so I understand where your husband coming from with his new version of himself being a bit weaker. Take solace in the fact that the weakness means the body is trying to use its own defenses to fight the cancer.
Did you meet your husband in high school? You have been with him a very long time and I understand the fear that goes along with the thought that you might not get to grow old together as you had planned. I met my husband when I was 22 but may have well just bern 18! I went to an all girls Catholic school and didn’t date in high school with the exception of 1 boy I was fixed up with whom I didn’t realize at the time that I was on a date until years later! I thought we were just friends. I always say my husband raised me! Wright was also in the hospital 1 month ago with pneumonia and changes on his CT scan which drs thought MIGHT be cancer (but they are not). During that time It had a lot of anxiety about the possibility that he actually might go before me. Right now as with many of us we don’t know our timeline. I would advise that you grow those connections with your children (if you have) and with friends and get involved with activities with them or at the senior center to make YOU happy. You will need these connections when that time comes. Faith in a higher power is another source of strength. With my mom and dad it was very difficult to lose them, to ease the pain I try and focus on the fact that they are relieved off their suffering they incurred while sick (my dad had pancreatic cancer and my mom had dementia and a stroke). Also, try and focus on the good times you have now with your husband and create a bucket list. Being a caregiver is much more difficult than non caregivers realize. I commend you for that and am praying for you. Please let me know how you are doing. Also, Mayo did a spotlight interview on me; check it out maybe it provides some inspiration?