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Granulosa cell (GCT) ovarian cancer: Suspect recurrence, how to cope?
I was diagnosed with stage 2 Granulosa Cell Tumor Cancer at age 30. I had my entire reproductive system removed. GCT cancer is a rare ovarian type of cancer. I didn’t need chemo after surgery because it was caught on time. Surgery was back in 2022. Now I’m getting the same pain I had before my cancer diagnosis two years ago. I feel like my period is about to come any day now but I know that is impossible because I have no ovaries, or uterus, or cervix. I’ve been getting monitored with blood work
( tumor markers ) . And all the blood work comes back normal except one marker called inhibin B. Inhibin B is a hormone produced by ovaries, which I don’t have and my oncologist is ordering me a PET scan which is coming up next week and at first I didn’t worry about her suspicions but now the pain is happening more often and I’m experiencing new symptoms as well and I don’t know how to feel. Sometimes I want to cry and sometimes I research ovarian cancer survival stories but I still don’t know how to feel.
My symptoms are strong cramps, my bladder hurts only when it’s full, my vagina canal gets random excruciating pain that feels like if it was getting twisted as if it was getting rinsed like a wet rag. I think I’m sad but I have hope, I’m concerned but in disbelief as well! Has anyone had ovarian cancer recurrence? If you have what where your symptoms? How did you cope or how are you coping?
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Its just 4 months since I was told I had cancer. I am having a difficult time processing all this. My chemotherapy will ends Dec 9 but the uncertainty will not. I'm adding more treatment. I want it all. I really don't want to decline because of cancer.
I am religious, but my prayers are guarded. I don't want to treat God l like a magic genie who will grant my wish. It's been my experience he has seldom granted me my wish in the past. I've had to just figure out how to move on. I don't understand the Job story. I know it was to show how Job had unwavering love for God, but dang did God really have to make him go through all that? The is so mean. Same thing with Jesus. He asked to be let out of his suffering, but nope that's not what happened. See what I mean. For this earth God's not very helpful and it doesn't matter how strong our faith is either.
@denisestlouie I have struggled with some of the same questions that you have. Am I ready to leave this Earth? No, I'm not. Would I pursue the recommended treatments and beyond? Yes, I would too ultimately trying to get to the point where I confront of the ambiguity of not knowing.
These are religious and existential questions that different religions and faiths approach in a variety of ways. Here is something by Jack Kornfield who writes from a Buddhist perspective:
The Wisdom of Not Knowing:
-- https://jackkornfield.com/the-wisdom-of-not-knowing/
Do you have a pastor you can discuss these questions with? Or perhaps recommend podcasts or readings for you?
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1 ReactionI'm not a believer, and reading your post makes me wonder if that just gives me one less thing to worry about.
I find it fairly easy to accept that cancer is a natural thing that strikes people somewhat randomly. Treatment may go well; it may not. All you can do is to try to get the best treatment for yourself that you can within the system that we have. Contemplating a God with the power to help, but who for whatever reason withholds it, seems unnecessarily upsetting.
And try to enjoy yourself, whether or not the cancer thing goes well. I'm on a clinical trial of a new drug, which has definitely had its ups and downs. (Tumors have shrunk but are still there, and sometimes the drug causes side effects.) But I just went to Italy for my 60th birthday. Had a great time.
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1 ReactionReligion is difficult. It's so personal. Every single Christian has a different belief than the person sitting in the pew next to her. That's what makes consoling others hard.
I'm unchurched and have been for years. I don't think in black and white and so many people do. I also don't like worshipping with the person I just sat in Bible class with who went on and on about people on welfare or spoke the disgust towards people who are different than the narm. I remind myself they are just flawed humans like me, but they are not even trying to love their neighbors.
I know what's said in our Bible and I know it's often vague and open for interpretation. But I still believe in a higher power and Jesus is the one I believe in.
In our faith he knows all. Every thought I have is a conversation with God. As much as I would like to be in a congregation that believes like me it can never really happen because our personalities, life experiences are so different. I just want to be with people who strive to love unconditionally.
Denise