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Granulosa cell (GCT) ovarian cancer: Suspect recurrence, how to cope?

Gynecologic Cancers | Last Active: 21 hours ago | Replies (24)
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@denisestlouie

Its just 4 months since I was told I had cancer. I am having a difficult time processing all this. My chemotherapy will ends Dec 9 but the uncertainty will not. I'm adding more treatment. I want it all. I really don't want to decline because of cancer.
I am religious, but my prayers are guarded. I don't want to treat God l like a magic genie who will grant my wish. It's been my experience he has seldom granted me my wish in the past. I've had to just figure out how to move on. I don't understand the Job story. I know it was to show how Job had unwavering love for God, but dang did God really have to make him go through all that? The is so mean. Same thing with Jesus. He asked to be let out of his suffering, but nope that's not what happened. See what I mean. For this earth God's not very helpful and it doesn't matter how strong our faith is either.

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Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | 22 hours ago

@denisestlouie I have struggled with some of the same questions that you have. Am I ready to leave this Earth? No, I'm not. Would I pursue the recommended treatments and beyond? Yes, I would too ultimately trying to get to the point where I confront of the ambiguity of not knowing.

These are religious and existential questions that different religions and faiths approach in a variety of ways. Here is something by Jack Kornfield who writes from a Buddhist perspective:

The Wisdom of Not Knowing:

-- https://jackkornfield.com/the-wisdom-of-not-knowing/

Do you have a pastor you can discuss these questions with? Or perhaps recommend podcasts or readings for you?

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val64 | @val64 | 22 hours ago

I'm not a believer, and reading your post makes me wonder if that just gives me one less thing to worry about.

I find it fairly easy to accept that cancer is a natural thing that strikes people somewhat randomly. Treatment may go well; it may not. All you can do is to try to get the best treatment for yourself that you can within the system that we have. Contemplating a God with the power to help, but who for whatever reason withholds it, seems unnecessarily upsetting.

And try to enjoy yourself, whether or not the cancer thing goes well. I'm on a clinical trial of a new drug, which has definitely had its ups and downs. (Tumors have shrunk but are still there, and sometimes the drug causes side effects.) But I just went to Italy for my 60th birthday. Had a great time.

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