Hi kadm,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Back spams are intensely painful. I have a similar problem with the rhomboid muscle on my right side. It doesn't spasm the way you describe, but it does get very tight and bothers, especially at night. Two ideas:

1. Find a good masseuse. I found a good masseuse, told him about the tightness in my rhomboid, and he started with me on my back. I thought that was unusual but he worked on my neck muscles for about 15 minutes (they were surprisingly tight) and worked his way down to my trap and then my rhomboid. He explained that all these muscles are connected, and it's best to start at the top (neck) and work down. He finished the massage with me lying on my stomach.

2. Try a trigger point self-massage cane. I like this one:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0C7C5JRN9/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I can really dig into the muscles of my neck and upper back - between massages.

Neither of these suggestions involves muscle relaxers or anxiety meds. Hope this helps!

Joe