Hi kdalda, I have read your reply and I wish that it was possible to get help but I am very fragile at this time, it started last year when I began having nightmares about my past abuse, I was devastated to suddenly have nightmares at this moment in my life. The past five years have been very difficult for me with covid and cancer, I feel that the stress brought back traumas from my past. I am fairly forthright and thought that I could reach out to my brother last year to discuss this matter but I totally over estimated what I thought would happen. He is not prepared to deal with this let alone admit to anything, his reaction was to label me as mentally unstable with other family members. It just made everything worse and I began to doubt myself, only my parents would be able to attest on my behalf that he suffered mental problems in his youth and that the abuse was real. My own sons were uncomfortable with me bringing this up and they too respect my brother. I feel totally at a disadvantage with a history of emotional problems and on paper he presents a more viable image. It would really be detrimental to my wellbeing to start any actions and I think that it would be better for me to work on myself to put things back where it belongs. Upon hindsight it was foolish for me to believe he would have been compliant to go through this with me. I made a bad judgment call and now I’ve retreated to my own personal space. I hope that the therapy I’m currently receiving will help me to do so, as for the psychiatrist, I hope he’s enjoying what he did and I feel very sorry for anyone that is going to him for help, Frouke.