Any suggestions for the wife on how to support my husband?

After the surgery he may not be able to get erections without assistance from a penis pump or a shot into the penis of a drug mix.

Is he having nerve sparring surgery, that may enable him to get an erection without help other than Viagra or cialis..

My wife really didn’t have to do anything since recovery is quick, maybe meals in bed for a day or two. ‘

Having relations frequently before surgery is probably the best thing you can do for him and you. It may be a long time before you can do anything again.

The fact that you are on here looking for suggestions, speaks volumes for your support. I didn't have that procedure, but during my 20 month journey, my wife goes to all my appointments with me. I couldn't do this without her being there for me. Her emotional help is everything to me. Being there for your other half means everything. It's an emotional roller coast he's about to go on and he definitely will need that extra hug and someone to hear what he is going through. I wish the both of you all the best on your journey. It is your journey as well as his. Best to all.

Thanks!

Thank you!

You're an awesome wife just for asking for help.
I had the prostatectomy 2 months ago & my wife (housewife, so had time for me day & night) was invaluable.

Pre-surgery.... just be there. Go to the appointments in your job as secretary. Men aren't good listeners at the best of times & you'll hear & remember things from the medical team that he won't - partly because as the patient, it's hard to concentrate.

Also, do what you can to watch his diet. Every pound lost pre-surgery will help with recovery.
After surgery.... spoil him with any food he wants.

As others have said... enjoy the sexual side while you can. It's about to end abruptly for a while.

Post-op, learn how to care for his catheter. Again... be the secretary & remember what he won't. My wife was amazing with that & I wasn't.

Make him drink water - lots. This is so important. He needs to drink 1 -2 litres of water per day, while the catheter is in. Essential.

Thank you! Yes, I go to all appointments & take notes. Catheter training underway -watching videos- so will do my best on that.
Appreciate it!

A very good catheter video is here:

Much appreciated!

I’m sorry that you have to be here but I think you’re awesome for having the courage and conviction to get ahead of the coming situation. I’ve attached my personal notes (about 8 pages I think) that I put together for fellow PCa patients that are going through prostatectomy surgery and their spouses. I wish I would’ve had the benefit of this information which is why I openly share it.

One big suggestion: Work on your non-sexual intimacy NOW and all the way up to surgery. Sit on the couch and cuddle; walk together and hold hands; look lovingly at each other; talk; and listen. That’s all you’re going to have for several months and if you don’t have that you both might be lost for a while. Sadly I speak from experience but thankfully we’re working together to turn things around.

Your husband might experience some self-image problems because of ED. Sometimes this results in depression and/or withdrawal. Tell him he’s brave. Tell him he’s handsome. Tell him that he’s the love of your life. Tell him that better days are coming and hand in there.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions regarding my notes.

Good luck on your journey together!

Bob

Thank so much for sharing your personal notes. We are one of those couples that hold hands & cuddle now so that’s good. Yes, the self-image has me concerned so I’ll be aware of that. I can’t imagine what this must be like for a man-has to be emotional & frustrating. I’ve got him doing kegels too so I think we are heading in to this as well as we can. I’ll research the pelvic floor exercises- maybe I can add something to our daily routine.
Much appreciated.