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@1830

I can just about take your letter and put my name on it. I'm at the point that when I cancel an engagement, I know I will regret it minutes after I hang up. When I look back at various periods in my life, I find that I was painfully shy until I met my husband. It's quite ridiculous that I have not been conscious of this behavior until now. My husband was in the military and wherever we were stationed we had people in the same position and found it very easy to socialize. We were our own society. Outside the military establishment, the only people we knew were our relatives. I stated in my first comment that I stopped going anywhere was when I retired. That is true in a sense but I went to work and came home. I don't think that could be considered going out in any shape or form. I should say that work was a place I could be in touch with other human beings with whom I could converse. It is when my husband died that "social" was gone from my life. Which to me says that I had the confidence to socialize when I was with him. He was friendly, outgoing and never met a stranger. The minute he opened a conversation with someone he did not know, they were immediately in the friend zone. My kids have told me that they think I have social anxiety. Whatever name you put on it, I need to get over it. I intend to do just that. Someone suggested the Lifelong Learning Institute, it souds like a good place to start.

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Replies to "I can just about take your letter and put my name on it. I'm at the..."

What you say about affinity groups is so true; at least, it has been true in my life. I, too, was in the military, and how you describe military social life echoes my experience: ours were instant, largely stress-free social gatherings (I'm speaking of stateside, naturally). True, too, in my professional life in the theater, we would group ourselves socially after performances––actors, technicians, house staff––usually at the nearest pub, and enjoy glorious post-show chatter. Once again, I never found these get-togethers to be pressurized, not in the least. And such occasions––military, theater––would often involve a dozen or more people. I suspect these get-togethers brought together people with something sharply defined in common––unlike rooms full of wandering strangers, one or two would soon approach and ask, 'So what do you do for a living?' That's WHen I'd want to flee into a corner and page through an old National Geographic. 🙂

Thank you.