I'm sorry that you are still suffering from that and I hope it clears soon.

To me the ED/Incontinence thing is akin to that old story most of us know about the 95 year old man who smokes a half a pack a day and eats bacon sandwiches daily and is perfect health for 95 (aka Grumpy Old Men): some guys have reported erections on day 1 with the catheter (and painful too) and others report the day after the catheter they had either no issues at all or one minor issue and then all clear. This is what we wall hope for but my docs told me to expect a minimum of 6 weeks to 6 months of incontinence at least, perhaps longer, and up to two years before the erection is of any consequence.

I've also read some horror stories of not exercising that erection regularly and losing 1-3" of length and girth and shortening of the un-stretched urethra being problematic.

This is to say that if I'm still peeing myself I'm going to work in stimulation between those times as much as I can. I realize life changes, but if there is a single thing I can do at any point to assist with reversing those changes then I'm going to do it, no matter how messy or uncomfortable it is (until the point of pain of course).