You are not alone. Many of us here are dealing with a spouse with MCI and dreading what the future may hold. I have shared much of my journey on this platform. I found it one day when I was taking a walk and crying my eyes out about something my husband was doing that scared me.
Every day there is something else that I call "wonky". He hates that word and would rather me say "meshuggah".
Hang in there and write here. It is helpful for us too. Thank you for sharing.