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I hear ya. It’s the ADT. I went through a period of Grief - feeling like my old self was gone and I don’t like the new self. My body - same. Lost muscle and gained belly. I saw a picture of myself recently from a family function and deleted it. I was going to the gym regularly and when I was I felt better. I went out of town twice and had family in and got away from the habit. I’ve got to get back to it. Maybe change gyms for you ?
I think we need to look longer term,.. ya. It sux but it beats the alternative. I’m 2 months post ADT drugs and the side effects are wearing off some. I was out socially with a girl friend (not dating) and I told her I was out of the dating circuit and why. She had her own battle with breast cancer and gets the shame factor on new limitations of performance. I’m starting to just get used to it but it’s a sad deal to know that isn’t an option now. Like I suddenly got Old over a short period.
All this is short term in the big picture and I’ve put my energy into other things. Other interests. I’m getting better at putting energy into just friendships. There are so many that have it worse. So I’m adjusting and finding a new normal. You will get better. You will adjust. Read the side effects of the ADT and it will help you know it’s just the drug and it will be over soon.
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Hey Chamblee, That was such a great post! You really distilled all the emotions and turmoil men face when they no longer see the ‘ME’ they always knew.
Men suffer as much shame and feelings of inadequacy sexually - perhaps more- than breast cancer patients. Not trying to minimize their anguish but breast reconstruction has really come a long way - and you DON’T need a breast(s) to perform sexually.
This disease robs the majority of men of their ability to achieve penetration; pills and injections MAY help some, but others like me who are totally impotent have to think about implants, pumps and inserts to even come close!
Lucky for me I am married for almost 40 years to a wonderful woman who really understands my literal shortcomings. She’s not happy for either of us but even though our sex lives are non-existent (ADT as well) our love is even stronger than before. I never believed it when someone said that (yeah, right…) but I’ve found it to be true. Best to you!
Phil