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Taking Loved Ones from Memory Facility for a Holiday
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 6 days ago | Replies (8)Comment receiving replies
Every day is a new day and is totally unpredictable. As much as you would like to live your life logically and on a straight path, that isn't how it works. It may be that taking him to the baptisms again would be upsetting, and he may not be able to convey why he feels that way. My husband has always remembered his sister and lit up when she called. Last time, we Facetimed and he turned away refusing to speak to her. "For what purpose?" was his comment. I figured out that his sister must be 19 in his mind, not the 86 year old woman who was on Facetime. The next time she called, we made it just a phone call and that was fine. You just have to keep batting the ball, no matter where it lands.
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You make good points about expectations. I learned to curtail my expectations of what my loved one might enjoy, as opposed to what someone who didn’t have dementia. I would imagine she would enjoy adult coloring books, music CDs, and a tv. Problem was that she no longer had the ability to focus on coloring. And, she never thought of turning the tv on or putting music on to play. Someone had to do it for her. She could only give her attention to certain things for short times. So, all these activities I thought of for her weren’t feasible. Short activities with direct supervision by staff were really the only things that worked.
I also learned that things that I thought would make her happy, might not anymore, such as a drive to the country, opening gifts, dining out…….