Thank you , Lisa. As I just wrote above, I think I'm done if I live through this round. I couldn't move or breathe well today from the lobectomy incisions/stitches still. Hell feeling that suffocating feeling again. They 'rile up' or whatever I mean sometimes. The pain from the stitches was unbearable , my feet were hurting/throbbing and my heart is so uncomfortable I am ready to go. I kept checking my vitals . Heart rate ranging from 80-120 just lying down all day. I looked at recordings of it. Yesterday my heart ranged from 45 to 130. All just lying/sitting. Guess it's damaged. Don't even have anyone to ask if it MIGHT return to normal. whatever. Thanks for thinking of me. I realize WHY am I doing this to myself? I have no family to miss me. No good works/volunteer work that will miss me. I've been miserable for years and this is certainly no life going to doctors. the pain, anger. I wish I would have never had the lobectomy and just spent the past few months having the fun I was having in July. Swimming laps, climbing hills, chasing rabbits uphill. Boating. I was FINE before all this. It would be good if I left now. My house I am leaving to a rabbit rescue (NOT Indiana House Rabbit Society now. HA! ) so the sooner I am out of pain the sooner rabbits can be helped.