@deku You will make good decisions, I'm sure. I am concerned, though, when you say, "I'm just trying to keep it together by focusing on the clinical aspects and cold facts and not on what this might mean for me as a person and for my family."

It's my belief that if you have a steady sexual partner and/or are in a long-term relationship (e.g., married), you should involve them every step of the way, meaning going to doctor visits, discussing treatment options, etc. As my wife said, "It's my penis, too."

This cancer, and its treatment will definitely "mean [something] for you as a person and for your family." Best to get working on that sooner than later, IMO. The support that family (and friends) provide, if only as a sounding board for processing everything, is invaluable, and WILL result in better outcomes for you.