I can only speak from experience as the parent of a kid (now mid 30's) with bipolar 1, the more severe kind, with "psychotic features," mania and depression.

First, the most obvious thing is that he had to have health insurance. Care is very different for those without insurance (actually private pay patients get alarmingly better care). Find out how to get on health insurance in each state. In my state, MA, every hospital has an office that will sign you up that day. In some states, insurance agents handle it. Online Medicaid sign up may be impossible for him: he needs help. Clearly he would qualify for Medicaid. I am surprised that shelter staff have not addressed his need for insurance.

My kid is doing well 15 years after diagnosis. Lithium and Lexapro combo have been a godsend but of course we went through other med options to get there. A good hospital program should put him on Lithium and an anti-depressant. Shock treatment is gentler than it used to but of course he needs insurance.

Housing in general and community homes specifically are hard to come by but if he has any access to social workers in shelters, they can help to some extent, but he has to be on meds and more stable.

There isn't much you can do from Paris. It sounds like the parents went to NAMI of Al-Anon and are practicing detachment to save themselves. No judgment at all. It is a balance for everyone. If he could get on health insurance, I think detachment might be appropriate in some cases, but I fear for anyone with bipolar 1 who does not have insurance. How does he pay for med?

Many patients resist meds or go off meds or go on and off but meds are actually the only way to stay stable. This is a brain disorder, not an emotional problem. And he needs to be able to pay for meds.

I have read many books. It may sound unlikely but Bipolar for Dummies was one of the best. One thing you can do is educate yourself. This is a disease like any other, very similar to epilepsy. In fact my father had both.