I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It must be extremely stressful to have a cousin diagnosed with papillary cancer which metastasized to his lungs 2 years after surgery. Do you know the specifics of the findings after his initial thyroidectomy? Was there spread into any surrounding tissue at that point? Did they determine if it had spread into any nearby lymph nodes? More distant lymph nodes? My point is that it's easy to assume it's an "apples to apples" comparison in this type of situation, when the likelihood is there are some significant differences.
That being said, I had a very small, highly suspicious nodule on my thyroid identified in January of this year. I am 63 and have had Hashimoto's syndrome since I was 16, which has required me to take thyroid medication on a daily basis since that time. In light of the fact I was already taking the medication and not wanting to mess around with the likelihood of multiple procedures, I opted to have a total thyroidectomy on Jan. 31st. I was pleased with my decision. Papillary thyroid cancer tumors were found in three different areas and on both sides of my thyroid. There was also cancer in two of the six lymph nodes they removed. In addition, two of my 4 parathyroid glands were removed. I recovered beautifully from the surgery and have had no other issues, other than some difficulty with calcium regulation due to the removal of the parathyroid glands.
My endocrinologist felt radioactive iodine treatment was not indicated and this concerned me. I opted for a 2nd opinion with Moffitt Clinic in Tampa. The endocrinologist at Moffitt agreed with my doctor, saying they have determined radioactive iodine was no longer standard protocol. While I'm still not totally convinced, I deferred to their expertise and have had no issues with labs or ultrasounds since that time.
Oddly, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July. Although the breast cancer is also a papillary cancer, it is NOT related to the papillary thyroid cancer. Had a bilateral mastectomy in August with clear margins and clear lymph nodes.
The bottom line and answer to your question is this: I'm thrilled I chose to have a total thyroidectomy instead of a hemithyroidectomy. Which it actually ended up being an important choice, the peace of mind it gave me far outweighed any negative I could identify.
Finally, this stuff is scary. And super stressful. Don't hesitate one moment to get a 2nd opinion! I was worried it would upset my doctor, but she was pleased I did and pleased her treatment plan was approved by outside experts. It shocked me to find that 2nd opinion had such a big impact on my ability to relax. Another decision I'm glad I was bold enough to make.
I hope this helped in some way.
You have more support than you know.
Cathy