Dear Justsara,
In response to your question…
“How long for the dread/guilt/total disbelief to dull a tiny bit?”. I say that will be December 19th.
I was in similar situation as yours and I was always asking when would I feel better even a tiny bit. People said various things from one year to never. My husband died six years ago and looking back, I remember feeling slightly better at 6 months. I know it varies from person to person but I’m just trying to answer your question best that I can..