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Newly a caregiver for my spouse with stage 4 colorectal cancer
Colorectal Cancer | Last Active: Nov 5 1:09pm | Replies (28)Comment receiving replies
@lmhgator80 It’s hard to be a cancer patient. It’s hard to be a loved one of a cancer patient. I hope through this trauma you’re both a support for each other and able to communicate. I was diagnosed stage 4 appendix cancer in 2021. At the time I had a very low chance of making 2 years. I had a wonderful medical team. I didn’t need to research and self advocate because they were fabulous. If you and your husband are not comfortable with your team you should consider changing. Or at least get a 2nd opinion.
I’ve been very fortunate. Major surgeries, 6 months of Folfiri and Avastin then HIPEC + cytoreductive surgery + a peritonectomy.
Just examples of how treatments have improved. You need confidence your medical team is across them and weighing quality and quantity of life. I’ve been NED since May 2022 and off treatment. My cancer isn’t curable.
I hope you can find caregivers in similar situations to yours to char together. They know better than we cancer patients do what it’s like watching the fight 🙏❤️🩹
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I just want to add. My mother passed within a month of diagnosis in 2006 from small cell lung cancer.
I’ve been the caregiver route, as well as now being the patient. My mom and I were super close. We played scrabble for hours. If I got a day off we went to the cinema and lunch. We were each other’s greatest support within family dynamics. Understood each other warts and all.
We often went on European holidays together as my father liked to do things differently when travelling. Yes mom and I loved the museums and art galleries and architecture and history too, but we also loved seeing where the locals lived and shopped and sitting in non tourist cafes with the locals.
It broke my heart watching mom fade - away especially once we knew there was no hope.
It was so very much a time to step up and be strong for mom - even though I was screaming inside.
My sister was there with me and that really helped keep a strong front both when there was hope and especially when there wasn’t.
We had to manage mom’s very much loved young grandchildren too. We did let them know how ill Nonna was. They were amazing with her. Gabrielle loved going to church with Nonna and me and making sure to wear clothes Nonna liked! It was beautiful.
My brother couldn’t handle it. His own pain was too high. He wasn’t there for mom both when we had hope and then when we didn’t. We don’t blame him but he now blames himself. That’s a tough issue only he can come to terms with whatever we say to comfort him.
You need caregivers to help you especially while there’s a lot of hope.
Positive energy is so powerful 🙏❤️🩹