Newly a caregiver for my spouse with stage 4 colorectal cancer

There is always hope. I pray for you and your family that all will come out well.
I had stage 3 anal cancer and I am clear today. (I chose proton radiation with very little chemo)
A friend had stage 4 breast cancer 18 years ago and she is still going strong.
Another friend had a bone marrow transplant for her cancer and is strong today.
There are many stories here about how others beat the big C.
I found my answer here. So my advice is:
Keep positive thoughts and research, research, research, because you will find works best for your husband.

There are a lot of trials ahead. Ask your provider professionals lots of questions. Make yourselves as knowledgeable as you can about what faces you both. Care for yourself while being the caregiver. My wife and I both have cancer. She was my caregiver, and now I am hers. She is recovering slowly from ovarian cancer and I have a non Hodgkins lymphoma (Waldenstroms). Our lives changed. She used to be a dynamo and super woman as far as physical activity. Now we do things at a slower pace, but we can still do a lot of things.

Can you seek out support resources through your health insurance? I found a therapist through my insurance provider in-network list last year when facing some concerning medical issues. I’m still seeing him and it’s the most important treatment for me, imo. I share all with him and get valuable support and input.

I am not familiar with your husband’s diagnosis, but a good friend of mind has had an incredible improvement since his metastatic prostate cancer diagnosis earlier this year. With treatment, his doctor called it miraculous, though he continues in treatment, but things look great. He’s returned to work and enjoying social events again. I hope things go well with your husband’s health.

There’s so much to navigate by yourself. Does the hospital have a patient liaison?

Thank you for the good news with your friend. There is so much unknown that it just makes my mental health weak. I am just always on edge of what he is going to feel or do minute to minute.

Hi.
Hi foremost, sorry to hear of news. To escape the anxieties and black cloud over you....you're doing the right thing to self-educate and self-research everything there is to know about his illness. There is SO much natural holistic approaches out there. I'm not a doctor but the gems are there...

@lmhgator80 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. Ask your cancer care center about a social worker being available to you. Whole care means your husband, you, and the family. Some places offer family support groups, or have information on community support groups. Don't try to do this alone. You deserve all the assistance you can.
Ginger

Hello@lmhgator80
My wife's cancer started with a brain tumor, eventful surgery, and the radiation. Then a re-occurrence of multiple myeloma in her bones 4 years later. We almost lost her in the ICU after the craniotomy. She is 66 now, my daughter was 13 when it all began.

What was helpful for me and my daughter were the family support groups we attended with others going thru a similar crisis. Hopefully they're available to you and your family thru the hospital. What also helped dramatically was when my sister flew out to stay for a while and then my sister in law came to stay at another time to help out.
I was often melting down emotionally. The helpers that came to our aid made such a difference.

Prayers for you and family, especially for your husbands comfort, care, and recovery.
Ernie

Prayers for you and your family. If you find you have racing thoughts and have difficulty focusing you might want to speak to your primary doctor about a drug such as Zoloft (sertraline). This may help settle your mind as you consider all the challenges.

If it is possible you might want to seek a second opinion regarding the treatment plan.

My wife of 42 years developed stage 4 lung cancer. Her cancer had a rare genetic mutation which proved fatal.
For me, the most important thing I could do was to "man up" and take care of myself in all ways so that I could care for her until the end.
YOU must realize that you have suffered a grave emotional injury. Not like broken bone sticking out of the skin. . .but just as horrible.
How do you treat your wound? You must "woman up" and realize that your inner strength is now needed - for better or worse.

The emotional injury is always with you. Tears briming in your eyes while food shopping or driving are natural.
But you can be strong. Yes, the homelife nest of family and routine are damaged. Can you get it back? Maybe.
Ultimately, YOU must find the courage.

The words "be strong" are simple platitudes but you must find your way to that inner island of strength.
Women are just as strong as men, but in different ways. Now is your time.

Find yourself a therapist or at the very least keep talking to people here who have lived the journey. 12 & 14 are vulnerable years to be sure and they need you to maintain "normal" as much as possible. My Dad was stage 4 at 40 years old. My Mother was a stay at home Mom with 5 kids. I was the oldest and felt the weight along with her. She was a rockstar at keeping things as "normal" in our routine as possible. Reach out and ask for the help you need from family and friends. People don't know what you need if you don't tell them and people want to be supportive.

Also, research and ask your oncologist about possible immunotherapy.

P.S. My Dad lived another 24 years!!