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Dealing with adult son with mental health: Parents want to share?
Mental Health | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (55)Comment receiving replies
I cannot offer any diagnoses as I haven’t met your son. Is there any substance use that you know of or suspect?
It must be very painful to see your son suffering. It would be a good idea to see him in his own environment and (I know he resists) to get involved with his care.
Does he have a support network where he lives?
Most of the time with serious mental illness patients lack insight into the truth that they are sick. It’s part of the disease process and not them being stubborn or ignorant.
I hope you can re establish your relationship with your son and gingerly help him. I say gingerly as he seems like a proud guy not wanting his mom’s help. But sometimes, more often than not, adult kids need them for support.
Good luck to you. Take care of yourself.
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Thank you for your response hwange. I believe you know how extremely difficult this situation is. I know he abused Adderall in his senior, last semester of college to get through it due to the stress of divorcing parents.
When he was living and working in Italy for 3 1/2 years at age 25-28, I accidentally discovered he was using cocaine. I had a terrible physical reaction to it - which frightened him - and he told me he was no longer using it. Now at age 39? It's anyone's guess what he is doing. He is so secretive.
I wanted to fly up to his condo for his 40th birthday next month but he discouraged it - due to my anxiety disorder and fear of flying alone. But I would do it for him. He is suppose to come to visit me for his 40th birthday now. Will he? Who knows. He could have been sincere in his worries about me but I can't help that he simply didn't want me in his condo.
He has no support network. Only his psychiatrist. His former therapist got a new position and he was reassigned a new therapist but, no surprise, didn't like him so he has nobody now.
He cut off all ties with friends. He was a son that called his mother all the time. Now, it is one excuse after another as to why he can't call when he texts me. I always respond with understanding. It is always "we will try tomorrow". He has spoken to his father, less than he speak with me which is not saying much. I last saw him in August. His father has not seen him in one year. I will be calling NAMI today...and will speak with my own psychiatric nurse practitioner as well.
My fear is as his behavior continues to go unchecked, he will get worse and worse.
An intervention has to be done. But what? He is not getting the right medications nor seeing the right psychiatrist. My guess is he is not disclosing his true mental status to him and the doctor is in the dark.
Thank you again...it is so ironic, the psychiatric nurse - who treated many patients under my care successfully for 25+ years - can not help my own son.