I haven’t placed a spouse for care, but I did place a relative. I was responsible for my cousin’s care, after she got dementia. After seeing it was not possible for me to care for her in her home, I found an excellent Memory Care facility. Caregiving does not end after placement. There are many responsibilities that continue. She relied on me a lot and my visits were vital. I will say that much of the strain of daily hand’s on care is relieved.

I was fortunate in that I never felt guilt over the placement, only pride that I had done the right thing. Caring for someone 24/7 solo who has substantial need just isn’t feasible. It’s not fair to either person. I realized what she really needed and arranged it.

I hope you will feel better as you get a chance to adjust Some people with dementia settle in and seem comfortable, but others might not. I observed many residents with dementia over the six years I cared for my cousin. I found that sometimes with dementia a person might not be able be content or happy no matter where they are. Meds can help, but it’s not always apparent. I learned to temper my expectations.

After a couple of weeks, my cousin thought she was living in her new apartment and liked it a lot. She adored her new friends there, though they didn’t really talk to each other.