Hi, @boilerbob I'm Scott, the fellow @colleenyoung tagged in her post. I'm sorry for your loss and understand your feelings of being adrift right now. My wife and I were married for 41 years, the last 15 while she waged her war with brain cancer.

I know we are all different but there were a couple of things I did after I lost my wife that helped me.

First, I began a "to do" list. Many items were small, (write a letter to an old friend, call someone, paint the wheelchair nicks in our walls, etc.) and some were larger (visit a friend who had provided crucial support for me from far away, reconnect with some old friends I lost touch with during my years as caregiving took over my life, and others). I vowed I would accomplish at least one item a day off my list and then add one to the bottom. This gave me not only a sense of accomplishment but also something to know I had in my future. I still keep my list and continue to do this every single day.

Another was a promise I made to myself to not make any major life's decisions for 18 months. My emotions were just too raw and during that time I really no longer knew myself well enough to know what my future might hold or what I really needed or wanted.

I hope the sun is shining today wherever you are. Let me know if I can answer any questions.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

My concern is that GBM is not a "glamor" cancer that gets a lot of visibility or coverage in national publications, etc.
I smile thinking about the hugs we shared, with little kisses, and how her words picked me up when I felt down or something went
Check out her obituary at Bismarck Funeral Home under Ellen Jackson.