People Come Into Our Lives to Teach Us How to Let Go

So, I guess being "ghosted" by so many "friends" has actually been a blessing in disguise. I never listened to my mother when she said "when one door closes, another will open," and now I "get it." I really didn't know what that word meant until I looked it up on line. What a terrible thing to do to a person...

I think burning the letters sounds cathartic, good for you.

I have had celiac disease for 15 years. It is controlled by going GF (no gluten from wheat, rye, or barley). I call it a vocally transmitted social disease because some people are bothered when you quiz the waitstaff on menu items, and friends disappear. When I told my best friend and his wife I have celiac, they said "you don't have celiac, you have some gluten intolerance and need to stop getting on people's nerves." They are now arms length friends. I found new friends, and volunteering is great for meeting and sharing (including this forum).

I would suggest not burning, destroying, or throwing away the letters you have. If she should have a change of heart and reach out to you to rekindle the relationship, those letters could be a way for you to show her how important your friendship is. Like others have said people come in to our lives, as was said by someone more intelligent than I, “For a Reason, For a Season, or For a Lifetime.” Please keep in mind that your self worth is all that matters, keep a positive outlook and attitude too. Not everyone can handle a Life Threatening Illness with grace.
Hope this helps, and wishing you all the best!

In reply to @sidney073 Thank you. I’ve gone ahead with my bonfire and it was very cathartic. See, the letters contained a lot of personal information about our relationship, and the more I thought about it, I realized I didn’t want them lying around in case something happened to me and my sister would have to deal with them. In all honesty, I felt terrific about the fire, and I must have laughed for a solid hour after I did the deed. I kept thinking, “ shame me once, shame on you; shame me again and shame on me.” This is not the first time my friend has done something terribly hurtful, and I decided that it was best to just “ give it up…” I harbor no ill will towards my friend, but I am unable to understand her response to my disease, nor can I get inside her head to make sense of what happened. But I have letters from another close friend, another college friend, who sent me a card and said she would be coming to CA from NJ in December and she wants to visit for a while. I’m thrilled. See the difference? Thank you for your response

It was life changing. Later, thinking I wanted to save some of the foreign stamps that were on some of the letters, I buried them instead. I am kind of "into" rituals that help me deal with loss and things of that nature. And there happened to be a rusty old wrench in my garden that I used to mark the spot. Many may disagree with my actions, but this works for me.

in reply to @kayabbott I understand. I have experienced a similar response, the worst being from my sister when I told her I wanted to move out of state, "you can't do that, you have too many health issues." I know many people who have celiac disease, and they go to the same restaurants to make the "dining out" experience more enjoyable. I totally get it about the need to keep some "friends" at arms length. Quality over quantity is my new rule. If I can count on 3 people to "be there for me," I consider myself lucky. Fortunately, I can count on more than 3, although 3 would be just fine. all things considered. Best of luck

I’m glad another friend reached out, sometimes we just need someone to reinforce that others care about us. I’m happy for you.

I agree with your decision and actions.I have learned that life and people give us clear exit signs but it is up to us to see this take the exit and not return

in reply to @mdk1960 Thanks for the support. I had been receiving signs for quite some time, and I suppose I was waiting for just the right time to make a decision. Interesting that she made the decision for me....or at least she made it easier, if you know what I mean.
I actually feel quite strong about my actions, which are a complete reversal of how I "used to be," so in essence my disease has indeed, been a gift. Be well