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What are your tips for staying independent at your own home?
Aging Well | Last Active: Nov 1 12:41pm | Replies (187)Comment receiving replies
My wife and I moved to VIrginia in 2020 (from VT).
It was difficult for me to connect with people here. At first, that was Covid. I made slow progress since
then; but then my wife divorced me (in March). She and my stepson and our dog were, essentially, my whole
life. I do have health problems and had one flare up during our 4 years here.
I moved to a nearby town, more to offer. But I still found it difficult to connect with people.
I keep fairly busy, but don't see a way forward from here. I feel like I've come to the end of the line. As if this weren't enough, I had my drivers license suspended 3 weeks ago. I have had some trouble with driving since the divorce stuff started. I've struggled with isolation much of my life, but nothing like this. There are a couple of places I go which are on the bus line. I will be trying to get a pt time home health aide and start looking at other senior housing options, maybe with an extra support or two and some number of activities.
Almost anything would be an improvement.
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Please do seek a compatible senior living arrangement. My mother, who was lost after my Dad's death (53 years) and losing the ability to travel, selected a series of senior living arrangements, and learned what was important to her as she aged.
Finally, she chose an apartment in an organization that offered a "continuum of care." At first she was quite independent, choosing only to have her main meal in the dining room, and participate in activities and use their shuttle to do her weekly shopping. As her health declined to the point where us kids were not "enough" she had daily visits to help her dress, undress and shower, med management, and 2-3 meals a day. If she had needed it, she would also have been eligible to move (within the building) to Memory Care, or a few miles to a skilled nursing facility.
She was able to participate as she desired in the activities, and discovered a talent for watercolor - in addition to finding friends to play cards, work puzzles and have coffee. I can tell you that as a man in that setting, you would be welcome company. My Mom and her friends often mentioned missing the (platonic) company of men and were happy with the few male residents, who changed the tenor of many activities.
I miss the many lunches and activities I shared with my Mom and her friends there, and will not hesitate to seek such a home if I find myself alone and needing both help and company.
If you are looking for a place, be sure to ask to visit at mealtime and share a table with residents - more than once if possible. Also, if you are of a particular faith, check out these resources within your faith community. My friend's parents have been in their continuum of care home for 20 years, and as they age having pastoral services right there is a blessing to them (they are 95 and 100 years old now.)
Good luck finding a good place to land.