← Return to I feel like start running and not look back!

Discussion

I feel like start running and not look back!

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 2 days ago | Replies (124)

Comment receiving replies
@jehjeh

@wmehan I find it extremely frustrating when well meaning friends, family, even medical professionals suggest something they think may be good for hubby with no regard for how it will affect me. Especially when the suggestion is made in front of him. He then becomes obsessed with the idea (of travel, dinner out, trip to the theater...) . Often, someone will tell him what he needs to do to get medical attention and I don't know what they said, only know that whatever it was made him scared and anxious. The worst was when he was in hospital or skilled nursing and providers asked if I was spending the night, in front of hubby. Didn't they understand this was the only respite I could get?

I saw this with my mom and dad when he had dementia. Everyone trying to help him and never considered the stress on her. Fortunately, they had 6 children who recognized her needs and moved him to memory care when the time came. Wish we had done it sooner. It would have been better for them both.

Jump to this post


Replies to "@wmehan I find it extremely frustrating when well meaning friends, family, even medical professionals suggest something..."

Hi there,
your post really touched a nerve with me. My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago and even with treatment I can see how the disease is advancing. He is irritable all the time and my patience has a limit, so we end having awful arguments very often.
The thing is that no matter where I go to ask for advice on how to deal with him it's always the same: EVERYTHING is aimed at making his life easier with no regard to how mine gets more difficult by the day. " just go along with whatever he says", "look for ways to distract him", etc.
Who actually cares about us, the wives living with this 24/7 without an end in sight?