Thank you for the reply. Yes, it is not easy. To be able to do it I have had to increase my pain meds for my chronic pain and that makes it very difficult to think and reason. I am not as strong as I was before the Whipple surgery and need some help with items over 20lbs. Yes, it is not easy but for me it is easier than the intense pain of treatment. I really admire those who are suffering through chemo. I have reached the point in my life that I have had enough of that already. My health was bad enough before the cancer was found that I had already made arrangements for cremation and paid for that. And I had put my son's names on anything I owned. My house and cars. I was waiting for something from my chronic illness, but thing do not happen that way sometimes. And the increased confusion makes it more difficult to manage my chronic illness. Life has been difficult for a long time.

I do plan to stick around while I am able. Palliative care came out today and it seems there is not much for them to do until my cancer causes me trouble. Then they can increase my pain meds and transfer me to Hospice care.

You take care and wishing only good thing for you and all of us dealing with cancer.