Incontinance with coffee and alcohol

On a related note.... what are the effects of an irritated bladder? Peeing more often... pain.... discomfort?
Just so I know if something is causing irritation.
I guess I'm lucky I even have to ask what it feels like.

It can vary. In the extreme case, blood will be visible in your urine, and it might even look like you're peeing mainly blood (it's an illusion, but still disconcerting when it happens). At the other extreme, it might just feel like a mild urge to pee, but one that doesn't go away or comes back quickly after you've emptied your bladder. In between those extremes, you might experience something that feels like burning, cramps, or sporadic stabbing pains in the centre of your lower pelvis — especially common at night, when you're still and more aware of sensations.

I am 71 and drink at least 60 ounces of iced tea daily. Tea is a diuretic as well. I am 4 weeks post-RP and my incontinence is pretty darn good. The first two weeks it wasn't good. But I have been faithfully doing the kegel exercises 3-4x times a day, which has helped. I haven't had any alcohol so I cannot speak to that. However, I would think coffee and tea would have the same effect on the bladder. The other thing I learned: urinate often!! Even if your bladder isn't calling on you to empty it, for the weeks/months after surgery go every 30-45 minutes. I know it's a PITA, but it has helped me greatly.

I don't have a lot to add to the excellent posts addressing your question and the associated anatomy. They certainly clarified a few things for me. But let me add a few thoughts from the emotional side. I'm 70 and had my NS RALP in late June so I'm coming up on 4 months. Even though I was pretty much continent when the catheter came out at a week, it's been a work in progress as I adjusted to the "new normal". There's been a few minor releases of urine along the way as I figured a few things out. Those accidents were a bit unnerving and kind of freaked me out a bit. So early on, even though I was pretty much continent, I had no confidence because things generally felt a bit different from before surgery. It took me some time to get adjusted to the new normal. For example, prior to surgery I'd need to get up once or twice a night during sleep. After the surgery, it was more like 3 or 4 times at first. But it's improved and now I'm back to just once or twice a night (depending on how much liquid I consume before bed). Long story short, coming up on 4 months and I'm pretty much back to my normal. Early on, I felt like I was adjusting and making improvement day by day. Then it slowed down, but things still got better week by week. But some days were better than others. About 2 months ago my wife and I took an extended road trip. Initially, I was a bit stressed out worrying about how I'd handle that. But my wife was very supportive, we started out stopping more frequently than normal, and by the end of the road trip things were very much on the road to getting back to normal. Also, I noticed that when I got busy thinking about driving, the scenery, etc that I could go longer between breaks. That kind of suggested to me that some of my frequency was partly due to me just worrying about it. Now I'm not recommending a road trip anytime soon for you, but rather I guess I'm just trying to say that even if there aren't any real physical issues, it's going to take some time to figure things out. Don't be too hard on yourself nor expect results too fast. At this point for me pretty much the same drinks that'd accelerate the urge to go before surgery are now back to affecting me about the same as they did before surgery. I wouldn't say I' completely back to normal, but I think I'm a good 90%+ back. I did Kegels before surgery and resumed them a short time after the catheter came out. I don't know for sure, but I think they've helped me. Let me close this comment on a positive note; without my enlarged prostrate my flow has markedly improved. That's definitely an improvement. Best wishes with your recovery.

That's actually really good to know.
I'm a bit worried about going back to work (computer tech) but it sounds like distractions will help with frequency. I'll have plenty of distractions.

Looking at my post again, there is one other thing I'd add. For me, it also helped when I didn't have to worry about it. For example, I still have an absorbent pad under the bed sheet. I've never had an accident sleeping, but it just gives me that little bit of extra assurance so I can not worry about it. Similarly, early on when I was still kind of worrying about having an accident I realized things went better if I was out hiking or in some similar venue where it didn't matter if I had a little accident. I could forget about it. I'm retired, but if I was still working I'd probably have worn depends when I went back, or at least a liner for a while so I didn't have to worry about accidents. Plus if I was still working I'd definitely wear dark pants for a while. There's nothing wrong with using a few aids to take off some of the stress while while you give yourself some time. Early on the urge would come on quickly. After almost 4 months, I really feel like I'm pretty much back to normal. So a little extra insurance (depends or liner) might help your confidence while you're getting back to normal. All part of just being able to relax and forget about it. Just my 2 cents.

Because I came home from hospital in a wheelchair after a long stay, I was already used to using a urinal bottle like this. It can make a big difference at night if you keep one beside the bed instead of trying to run to the bathroom half asleep, especially during the worst of the bladder irritation and incontinence.
https://www.amazon.com/Urinals-Spill-Proof-PerfectMed-Pack/dp/B07YMHR8SJ/
Just rinse it out with some water and a squirt of hand soap (and a couple of shakes) after emptying it every morning and it won't get rancid. I haven't used mine since last year, but it made a big confidence difference having them when I needed them.