I am so sorry. Your heart hurts and you are feeling helpless, it's an awful feeling. I too have an adult son, age 23, who had a "switch" flip in the fourth grade. Settling on perhaps that it was trauma related (separation/divorce), and not trusting adults or parents with his safety. He's had anxiety socially and from that -developed depression, despite special counselling knowing the divorce was coming, and outside counseling after the flipped switch. He has been suffering ever since. Also, refusing counseling or does the minimum (relies on meds to "fix" himself). Shortly after the pandemic, he reached a new low, which I didn't think was possible. He was "out of body." Dr's put him through physical testing as they thought he may have MS. He actually hoped it was MS, so he could point a finger at it, again relying on meds to see him through. He now checks all of the boxes for personality disorder (in my mind). He's not the same. My advice is to seek counseling yourself. Find a counselor, and don't stop until you find one that is a good fit. They HAVE TO do the work. They have to "want to" get tools or the right medication, to lessen the suffering. As parents we can worry and work as hard as we want towards a better outcome for our boys, but we can only support having them get help, and yes, pray.