So very sorry to read of your beyond horrific family history of trauma.
Yes, you are absolutely right. Trauma is trans-generational. My ex's father's was an abusive man. My mother and her sister lost their mother at an young age and were raised in poverty by an alcoholic father. All kept very secret...I always suspected he molested my mother but she barely spoke of what she went through as a child. My mother was emotionally neglectful of me.
I also can go on and on.
Yes, we must be in the present...we can not go back.
And sadly, my son saw the abusiveness of his father over and over.
I am glad he does not have children or married. I feel he would be abusive to his family.
Yes, my son makes very good money. I feel he is probably abusing his medications or using drugs also. Has a history of it...but not before his world came apart.
Yes, I am starting therapy because of my son and plan to attend NAMI meetings.
Thank you for sharing so much...it's is helpful to know one is not alone.
There are plenty of adult children who break their parent's hearts. No matter the ages.
All the very best to you!