Your strength is awesome, you give encouragement to so many. I'm not sure how you cope with the four month part, how is it possible to wrap your head around that. I'm not good putting the words to paper but I had to respond to your post above. You said there is still options and I hope they can slow things down for you. For me, they can "control" it. I'm 19 months in and doing okay. I wish the best for you on your journey and hoping it is a long one. Best to all.