1. < Colorectal Cancer

Intimacy and sexual life living with colorectal cancer

Posted by verol65 @verol65, Mar 15 1:03pm

Intimacy and sexual life living with colorectal cancer is not much talked about. So far I have not seen it mentioned anywhere, except in a few article that only state that intimacy and sexual life are often affected by colorectal cancer and move on to another topic without digging in. However, I believe that there are others among you who would welcome the opportunity to talk frankly about this subject that is dismissed more often than not.


In another thread (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1029381/), @chinoomee mentioned "even if someone doesn’t have a bag or have had resection (recovery) or just chemo med induced diarrhea/gas it definitely interrupts any sexual activity. Well, even constipation can and these are all things we will all experience. I did find a few articles on the ostamates support website and there is also a section in the NCCN patient guide". Maybe Chinoomee could share the links to those articles as a start.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Colorectal Cancer Support Group.

Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Oct 4 11:03am

I just read an article in a Mayo Clinic Minute. The article is titled, Tips to Prepare for a Sensitive Medical Appointment. If you are having difficulty discussing some topics that are considered, taboo topics or sensitive topics, the information in this article might be help you and make you feel more relaxed prior to your appointment.
https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-minute-tips-to-prepare-for-a-sensitive-medical-appointment/

REPLY
itchyd | @itchyd | Nov 7 9:59pm
In reply to @verol65 "I'll start. I had a two-stage Turnbull-Cutait pullthrough with coloanal anastomosis, a form of Low Anterior..." + (show)
@verol65

I'll start.
I had a two-stage Turnbull-Cutait pullthrough with coloanal anastomosis, a form of Low Anterior Resection, at the end of January and beginning of February. I also had a vaginal flap at the same time. I still have pain in the anal/sphincter area due to the surgery trauma and prior radiotherapy.
Before my surgery, I had a very satisfying intimacy and sex life with my husband, but since then, it's been a dry spell. We have hugged, we have spooned, with me being the big spoon because it hurts to feel his erect penis against my butt. I have masturbated him a couple of time; the first time especially I was very uncomfortable because my labia would swell, but since the vaginal flap is still inflamed, there is no way I could stand penetration. That same inflamation even makes me unwilling to masturbate in any way.
The other uncomfortable aspect is that having to go to the bathroom is so unpredictable, particularly with the clustering, that I can't imagine being intimate and having to interrupt whatever caresses we exchange to go to the bathroom over and over.

How has it been for you?

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I can see where staying in the mood would be challenging under your circumstances, Verol.
Just want to say that I sympathize with you for your troubles. Getting older is not for the faint-of-heart!

REPLY
apinzonc0627 | @apinzonc0627 | Nov 8 4:32am

Estoy de acuerdo con su comentario,cada quien lo ve a su manera, pero pienso que si puede haber actividad sexual, en caso como los que mencionas, dependerá de cada quien.

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1 reply
frouke | @frouke | 5 days ago
In reply to @apinzonc0627 "Estoy de acuerdo con su comentario,cada quien lo ve a su manera, pero pienso que si..." + (show)
@apinzonc0627

Estoy de acuerdo con su comentario,cada quien lo ve a su manera, pero pienso que si puede haber actividad sexual, en caso como los que mencionas, dependerá de cada quien.

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These are very viable concerns especially in a world where too much emphasis is on outer beauty. As a senior woman I have had many issues with my body and how I see myself, naturally I’m not impressed with what I see so how can anyone else find me attractive. We are really very fragile beings and illness of any kind can have serious effects on our bodies and minds. I truly believe that when you really love someone heart and soul you don’t see the changes in a negative way, love is powerful and can overcome so many things. We must learn to accept ourselves and be grateful that we’re alive because it’s a blessing from above, outer beauty is transient and inner beauty is forever. I have a very dear friend who is very disabled but in my eyes she’s a beautiful person who recently found love with someone who is paralyzed from the neck down, she shares stories with me about how much she loves him and I am so happy that in her eyes he is perfect.

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1 reply
apinzonc0627 | @apinzonc0627 | 4 days ago
In reply to @frouke "These are very viable concerns especially in a world where too much emphasis is on outer..." + (show)
@frouke

These are very viable concerns especially in a world where too much emphasis is on outer beauty. As a senior woman I have had many issues with my body and how I see myself, naturally I’m not impressed with what I see so how can anyone else find me attractive. We are really very fragile beings and illness of any kind can have serious effects on our bodies and minds. I truly believe that when you really love someone heart and soul you don’t see the changes in a negative way, love is powerful and can overcome so many things. We must learn to accept ourselves and be grateful that we’re alive because it’s a blessing from above, outer beauty is transient and inner beauty is forever. I have a very dear friend who is very disabled but in my eyes she’s a beautiful person who recently found love with someone who is paralyzed from the neck down, she shares stories with me about how much she loves him and I am so happy that in her eyes he is perfect.

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De acuerdo con su comentario.
Bendiciones

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